You are here

Be careful what u wish for

Crazysteplife12's picture

Submitted by Crazysteplife12 on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 12:46pm

So Yesterday I had to go to the mall to return an item. I decided to take ss6 and bd8. As we were leaving Sd12 asks if she can come. I say no. She asks why not. I say remember that conversation we had? You told me that you didn't want to have anything to do with me or my bd8. Therefore, I will not be taking you when I take the kids out. Also, I will not be buying you anything. You have decided u do not want a relationship with us and that's fine. But realize that you will not be benefiting from a relationship with me when you do not have one.

Comments

Crazysteplife12's picture

Submitted by Crazysteplife12 on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 1:16pm

I have talked to her dad about the situation. He doesn't like that things are at that point, but he also doesn't blame me. He is disappointed in her and not doing much for her either.

frustrated-mom's picture

Submitted by frustrated-mom on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 5:03pm

This is exactly how my SD15 spins everything.

The OP did the right thing, but the problem is with kids like this, they don't get the message.

My SD15's BM abandoned her. She had no place else to go when she came to live with us, told us daily how much she hated us and didn't want to be there, was disrespectful then upset that she was being punished and not included. It's like logic is completely lacking in these kids.

She couldn't put 2+2 together and realize if she was disrespectful then of course I wasn't going to do anything nice for her. She retaliated by being as disrespectful as possible. It became a vicious circle.

Crazysteplife12's picture

Submitted by Crazysteplife12 on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 1:22pm

Her mother has moved back into town, but doesn't have a place yet. We would gladly let her mom have more time. The problem is her mother usually never stays in one place too long.

Crazysteplife12's picture

Submitted by Crazysteplife12 on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 2:45pm

Despite that she doesnt want a realtionship The point is that sd12 is being disrespectful and getting into trouble, and doesn't deserve to be rewarded for bad behavior. It's just a matter of time before she disrespects her BM too. Let her have some of the fun lol

Crazysteplife12's picture

Submitted by Crazysteplife12 on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 3:41pm

She was totally in shock that she couldnt go! I'm standing my ground. I refuse to be mistreated when I am so good to them. Thanks it is so nice to hear from ppl in similar situations. Never been a stepmom before but I do what I feel is right.

Delilah's picture

Submitted by Delilah on Sat, 04/28/2012 - 4:51pm

I think you have done the right thing.

Not sure how that poster translated you expecting respect from a child and implementing healthy consequneces for rude behaviour as not wanting her around. Some people are dysfunctional and actually its that type of attitude which causes problems with those who are entitled and rude in the next generation!

Hah! I bet she was shocked and glad your OH is backing you up. Personally I would expect an apology AND a change in attitude before I started doing things for her again.