Gifts
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What do you guys think about splitting the cost of big gifts for birthdays, Christmas, etc.?
SD12 recently celebrated a birthday. Her BM wanted to purchase a big ticket item that she couldn't afford alone. So, she proposed that she and SO split the cost of the item. They did. Then she presented the item to SD as it had solely come from her. She even had the nerve to ask him what he was getting her for her birthday!! I think this was extremely tacky.
Normally, I would see no problem buying big gifts together, but after this stunt it's not happening again. As SD gets older, the gifts will probably be more expensive, but there will be no more spliiting costs.
Up until now she's never been
Up until now she's never been this trifling...lesson learned.
Nope. We don't split any
Nope. We don't split any costs with BM for gifts. If she can't afford to buy it, that's on her. And considering we don't have joint parties for the skids, it would make no sense to "share" gifts for them.
The thing is, now SD thinks
The thing is, now SD thinks her dad shorted her for her birthday because BM took all the credit. Like I said, never again.
Same exact thing happened to
Same exact thing happened to us, except we didn't return anything. Skids don't bring big ticket items between houses, so they end up with one at each house in those situations.
No sweat off my back. We do for the skids the way WE want to .. BM's house/world is completely irrelevant to how we live our lives
No way in HELL this would fly
No way in HELL this would fly in our home. And I'd out BM on that bullshit. Her dad needs to tell her that he paid for half of the gift
Yeah, I'm going to mention it
Yeah, I'm going to mention it to him tonight.
Anything joint went out the
Anything joint went out the window when DH and BM divorced. He wants nothing to do with her.
I would flat out
I would flat out refuse...thats how they learn to manipulate. They start little and end up being big. SO Once said, that if he had more money he would give his ex $500 extra to spend at christmas. As nice as the thought is, he is dealing with a manipulator....manipulators take, they never give. Can I take off my blonde wig now?(I only say this as Im a blonde too LOL).
LOL Trust me, he gave her A
LOL Trust me, he gave her A LOT during their short lived marriage. They were together 3 years. When he was doing well financially 15 years ago lol, he would bring home cheques of $15,000-20,000/month, now like just under $3000. She never worked the entire time, she never saved just spent.
When he comes up with this nonsense, I look at him, like who the f am I dating? Mother Theresa. He doesnt get things...he is too generous. But now he doesnt get suckered in as much. I think it has to do with him feeling guilty for leaving. Wish my ex did that with me lol, he doesnt feel guilty at all! I dont get these horrible BMs with nice exs, and Nice BMs with Douche ex's whats up with that.
I think its great in
I think its great in theory.....but it takes two mature reasonable adults to pull it off.
She's 12, she's old enough to
She's 12, she's old enough to comprehend the truth "we both paid for it".
DH and BM have both chipped in for big-ticket gifts. along w/ the grandparents. your sd is also old enough to understand "but because of how this is turning out, next time it wont happen again and other arrangements will be made."
BM is very very bad with money management. so now, DH will offer over and over again for her to drop off the cash next time we see her. and of course, that doesnt happen. or 'i'll meet you at the store and they can split the payment at the register'. and again, that doesnt happen. skids know it. we dont rub it in, but they know what arrangements are made, and by whom they are broken.
MSS turned 13 a month ago, and wanted a big ticket item. repeatedly he heard DH tell BM "let me know when u are at the store and I will meet you there." time and again, nothing happened. so this past weekend he went ahead and got him a prepaid credit card with the $ we had set aside for him. he knows who held up their end. and we dont have to say a damn word for him to know who failed him. so far, after more than a month, BM hasnt gotten him a damn thing. or last year either for that matter... so sad.
NEVER EVER EVER split
NEVER EVER EVER split anything with SD10 BM!
Hell this year BM told SD what she was going to get her... TWO MONTHS AFTER SD's bday (and after we told BM on multiple times to meet us at XX where SD had her league... She FINALLY came through and got SD what she told her she was going to get her.
No I understand times are rough, but this BM was continuing to go out every weekend, going to concerts... Etc... So she had the effin money, she just didn't want to spend it on a gift for her daughter (which wasn't that expensive to begin with, but that's not the point).