Ok-so I've blogged about how bm wanted ss this weekend and yada,yada, yada.

Well, I'm monitoring dd14's facebook last night and she happens to be "friends" with ss14's sister who is 16 and lives with bm. So she has this big long post on her facebook that goes something like, "I'm going to get him back, I dont care what anyone says,I'm soooo sorry that you can't ever come over here or hardly ever call due to someone else's problems, I love you bubby, I will do everything I can to come see you this weekend-I'm so sorry and I will come see you more when I get my license". So obviously she's talking about my ss14. I'm like WTF? I dont even understand what she's talking about-what is she sorry about-who is the "someone" problems she's talking about? The reason ss14 doesnt still LIVE there is because he was growing weed in bm's front yard among 1000 other offenses-and as much as I dislike bm-ss14 owns that-not anyone else. The last thing HE needs to hear is that he is a victim to ANYTHING as he will take it and run with it. This kid has lived with us for two months and has never, not once, asked to call her or his bm. I got on ss's facebook acct when he first moved in-the entire 7 months he lived with inlaws there was absolutely no facebook communication between the two of them and I'll betcha cash money there was no phone communication. I also can bet cash that she wasnt sorry to see the door hit him on the way out of her house-but now evidently here's some drama she can become a victim to as well. It's amazing how alike they are.

Ok-second issue. My ss14 had a field trip today. My dh was going to chaperone. They were leaving the school at 6:15am. Dh doesnt drive. Noone really ever asked me to drive them but duh, obviously that falls on me. So I was going to do it-despite necessitating me to get up earlier than I usually do and having to rearrange my whole morning routine so I can take time out to drive the approximate 20 minutes to school. Last night ss starts demanding to go to the store for snacks for the field trip so I'm thinking great if I do that on the way there add on another 10 minutes. Then he says he doesnt even want to go because he will starve. (3 meals a day are not enough for ss he must eat constantly). Then my dh says 20 minutes later he is thinking of cancelling as he wants to stay home and work on our computer system. So all night long ss ignores me when I tell him to do something. At 10pm I tell him to go to bed-what does he do? he makes himself some toast sits down and eats it. At 10:30 i am still telling him to go to bed. At 11pm I can still hear him roaming around upstairs. He has had multiple incidents of disrespect toward me for the last two weeks. I've tried to talk with dh about these so he can help me address them and he responds with, "Tell him what you think" or "Ok" and then never addresses anything with ss. When I try and speak to ss about it he typically argues with me about why it is ok for him to do whatever he wants. Also, both dh and ss sat at home all evening (I didnt get home til 9:30 from work)and didnt do a damn thing-we are having a party for ss on Saturday-the house is in shambles. Dh tells me when I get home that he'll clean on Friday-which he wouldnt even have been home til 9pm from the field trip and I have no illusions that either he or ss would clean or prepare anything for this party. Dh has ignored me for about 2 solid weeks messing with this computer and i have tried to talk to him numerous (daily) times about neglecting our relationship especially in light of the difficulties we've had recently.

So I finally decide-Eff it. Stick a fork in me I'm done. I cant sleep as dh is messing with the computer in our room-after about 30 solid minutes of me asking him to turn it off or go in the other room I take a sleeping pill (which I dont take regularly because I have a hard time getting up the next day). I tell him at that point that he needs to find himself and ss another ride in the morning as I'm not doing it. He basically ignored me. A few minutes later we get into an argument abuot something unrelated-he says some hateful things and then leaves the room and never comes back to bed all night. I dont know if he slept or was awake all night. When the alarm goes off at 5:30 I'm totally out of it, but dh runs in the room and says, "Is it time to wake the kids up?" They normally get up at 6 for school-so he is aware that this is earlier than normal for the field trip and I say, "no, it's time for you and ss to find a ride and get ready for your field trip". He leaves the room. I fall back asleep. I wake back up around 6:10 and get the other kids up and start getting ready. Dh is mad because I didnt take him and ss to school for field trip. He didnt even attempt to find another ride either last night or this morning and he is letting ss stay home from school since no field trip.

Long story short, dh and I talked further this morning and we have smoothed things over with him making lots of promises to get his head out of his ass. I told him at that point if he had really wanted to go on the field trip he couldve found a ride (neither of his sibs or his dad work)his mom works nights, and would be up and arriving home-these people give him rides almost daily to wherever he wants to -because he gave a car to my bil and he pays them. He also has a scooter that he could have taken. Or if he didnt want to go he couldve had ss call a friend and catch a ride-or walk down the street to where my dd14 (who was also going) was staying with a friend and hitched a ride with them. Dh didnt deny it. HOwever, now I am going to have to deal with ss14 when I get home. In his eyes this will be 100% my fault. I dont really feel bad for him as he NEVER considers my feelings, EVER-I am just sort of there to serve him. He has essentially ignored everything I've requested for two weeks straight, he wrote "suck it" on the back of my car the day that I had court (to present myself as a professional), he has deliberately defied me on a number of occassions with no consequences and so, yeah, I just didnt care. I'm just not sure how I should approach this. Explaining how my lack of concern over his field trip was in part related to his lack of concern toward me in general, will fly straight over his head. He gets no connection between how he treats people and how they treat him in return. His assumption in life is that others are to treat him well and he can treat them however he likes. So should I just ignore it? Should I say something? Wait to see if he says somethign? Or completely forget it happened and decide he got what he deserved?