My dh has really grown over the years and especially in the last few months in terms of seeing ss14 for the asshole he is. This is tremendously beneficial as I at least feel we are on the same page and he is understanding of the dynamics in teh household. I've learned that often he doesnt "do" anything regarding ss's assholism as it is just mindboggling and there seems to be nothing that combats it. Previously I thought he did not recognize the assholism and chose not to do anything.

But anywho, last night he was in full asshole mode with my dd. I was downstairs in our bedroom, with tv on, kids were upstairs in kitchen (our house is fairly large), and dh was in the garage (which is just off the kitchen). Well, I can hear ss yelling at dd10 from my room. Full on screaming at her and of course I hear no response from her. Not saying she didnt give one but again unless you were screaming at the top of your lungs I wouldnt be able to hear it. I know dh had to hear it as he was closer. Well, a few minutes later dd10 comes down to me and "vents". For some bizarre reason he took her plate that had pizza on it and put it on top of the microwave-she wanted it down as she was going to put in dishwasher-because it had grease on it (duh)-he told her it didnt, but then raked his hand on the grease and flicked it in her face. A splatter got in her eye, so she rubbed her eye and then he made fun of her for crying. As she headed down the stairs he continued to yell and insult her for being a baby and a tattletale. I told her what I always tell her, and what I tell all the kids-if ss14 is bothering you, annoying you, being mean, etc then stay away from him. The house is large enough that you can easily avoid him.

Well, ss had done some minor thing for him because his dad told him he had to (made me some frozen waffles)I did not want waffles made by this kid and my dd told him I didnt want teh waffles anymore on her way up the stairs. She did not say WHY I didnt want them, as she did not know I didnt share my reasoning with her.

Well, ss had a cow. Started going on about how he does everything around here and noone else does anything and yet he never gets anything back. OMG! What are you, a 40 year old housewife? I didnt respond to this rant as I am well aware that this is what he thinks as he shares this opinion every few days or so. Then I guess he goes and tells dh on my dd.

Dh comes downstairs and tells my dd to stop causing trouble. Again, OMG! She didnt do anything other than say, "Mom doesnt want waffles anymore". SS started the whole shebang, by taking away her plate (why I dont know), screaming at her, flicking grease in her face, and making fun of her. And dh didnt do a damn thing. So I was pissy and went in with guns blazing. And told him what I thought. Didnt go over well-he started in on MY ds (which so breaks every rule of fair fighting) and how ss14 tried to talk to him about soccer the other day and ds12 blew him off. And that he did that because I had "taught" the other kids to ignore ss. So I hit the roof-told dh that no, I didnt teach them anything of the sort. But the kids are all old enough to form their own relationships and opinions. SS14 is an asshat-everyone knows it-everyone agrees to it-why wouldnt my children be able to realize it? Dh kept saying, "But ss was being nice at the time!" I tried to educate him that just because he was being nice for 5 minutes everyone knows he's an asshole, day in and day out. 5 minutes of niceness doesnt mean my ds12 should fall at his feet and worship him for doing what everyone else does naturally (treating people with common courtesy)

What a freaking backslide. I dont understand. I do admit that there was a moment of satisfaction this morning as ss14 was stomping, slamming doors, purposely to try and get dh out of bed. Dh had already got up to wake the kids up and laid back down. SS wanted his medication-which dh gives him every morning. It has to be locked up as ss dispensed it to his 11 year old cousin a few weeks ago and now we can no longer trust him. However, ss wanted it NOW-when he wanted it-not in 5 minutes when dh got up there. He literally stomped around and slammed doors for at least 20 minutes. The first time ss asked, dh said he'd be up in a minute-but then I figured he must be seriously out to not hear all the commotion. I talked to him a while ago and he said he was awake the whole time-but was pissed at ss for slamming, stomping and be an "ASSHOLE" so he was being passive aggressive and not getting up.

And to further sicken me, I was creeping on ss's sister (with bm)facebook and she said she cant wait til this weekend to see ss and "I love ss". GAG. If she loves him so much he can stay his ass down their permanently.