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My thoughts on Facebook

FeuilleMorte's picture

Submitted by FeuilleMorte on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:43pm

I see a lot of posts full of angst about what somebody said or did on Facebook.

Amigos -- letting what someone else does on Facebook affect you is exactly the same thing as handing a big hammer to an enemy, standing in front of them, and saying, "Please don't hurt me."

Some thoughts to consider, all learned from hard experience:

a) You cannot control what anyone else does on FB. Period.

b) You do not have to be on FB. If you find that it constantly upsets you, get off for a while. Anyone who really needs to talk to you will call or email.

c) There are filters. You do not have to look at everyone that you technically have friended.

d) Despite what the FB people would have you believe, you do not have to use your real name for FB. If your current account is just too full of drama relating to your ex, create a new acct to keep up with the friends that you value. Use that one. Let the other one stand, you can check it occasionally or not.

e) At the risk of sounding harsh, stop letting people yank your chain. I cannot tell you how many times I've seen people say, "I know they just did that on FB to bother me, and I'm so pissed off!" Well, then, by getting pissed off, you just let them win. Stop renting them space in your brain for free.

My .02 for today Smile

Comments

LaMareOssa's picture

Submitted by LaMareOssa on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:47pm

I used to have a facebook, but I deleted it because of all the drama. It's full of gossip and drama and I really don't need to know what everyone and their momma is doing at every minute of everyday Smile

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 12:49pm

feuille, i usually don't agree with you, but on this i do, 100%. a lot of people use fb to be assholes. they type things they would never say to your face. they do passive agressive crap to get to people. sd19 is like this. posting cryptic comments for attention, then telling people she "doesn't want to talk about it" when she gets the attentions she wanted. :? she has posted crap on there blasting fdh or me before.

i have blocked her on there in the past and told her why. it opened a whole new can of drama. i kept her blocked for a year. she is now on my friends list, but my solution to reading things that annoy me and do it without causing more drama has been to block certain "friends" posts from showing up in my newsfeed. they are still on my list and can see what i write. they don't know they are not on my newsfeed. if i want to see anything from them, i have to go to their page.

it's so nice to have them essentially blocked and they don't even know it. no drama, no aggravation, no getting pulled into idiotic games. and if sd or anyone else is writing things just for me, it's all in vain cuz i can't see it, which probably just gives them the aggravation that was meant for me! Biggrin

Anon2009's picture

Submitted by Anon2009 on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 1:18pm

I agree with this. All of it. If I'm being bashed by someone on FB or any other site, I just unfriend them and set my profile to private.

forestfairy's picture

Submitted by forestfairy on Thu, 04/12/2012 - 1:46pm

I agree 100%. People control their own fate/feelings with this one. When FB is getting to me or someone on FB is getting to me, I simply hide or delete them. Even if I want to see it (like looking at a car crash), I won't allow myself to because at that point I'm making a conscious choice knowing I'll get upset, angry, annoyed, etc. Life is much more peaceful and happy this way. Smile

Unfortunately, a lot of people are actually addicted to drama and love it, even though they say they don't. It's always the most dramatic people who say how much they hate drama and how "everyone else causes so much drama". So, I think your very well made point won't make a lick of difference to most of the "FB drama complainers". They could have simply stopped looking a long time ago but can't stop themselves. That's my opinion anyway.