I don't think it's a good idea. I would tell your BS that he is not allowed to take the dog out unless his dad is awake and knows that he is taking the dog out. And then I would go over what he should do if the dog got loose, etc.

I don't think you should have to parent at your Ex's house but your Ex is a lot like mine and I have to often parent BS from my house when he is at his dad's because his dad makes stupid decisions.

Maybe I'm over protective but I'd rather be too cautious then go against my gut on something and regret it later. As long as I am not outright interfering with Ex's household then I think it's okay.

I think a 9yo that can't let a dog in and out without supervision... might need a helmet to face life calm down momma!

Depends on the kid...and the dog...but in general I don't see an issue with it.

I would not be comfortable with that either. It is apparently late since Dad is asleep and it is dark and DS may have to go far away from the house to get the dog off the chain. At night. With dad asleep and not knowing his son is outside.

But I don’t think I would say anything to your EX nut job. Just go over it with DS in a way that it will not look like you are saying anything mean about his dad or your ex will blow up as usual.

I guess it depends on how familiar he is with the dads place and what BS is used to? Like has dad lived there for a long time... does BS know the neighbors, other parents etc?

I would not be comfortable with this, but it's because of how I live. We live out in the sticks, no neighbors.. so I let BS6 go outside and play with the dog all the time. He knows not to go up by the road and not to go out back where the pond is and not to go in the horse pastures. If BS was at some apartment complex I'd be worried about him being outside unsupervised...I'd be worried about random stranger snatching my kid. But then you have the people who would be freaked by living out in the sticks with NO neighbors, bears, coyotes etc. I guess it just depends on what BS is used to?

Meh - this would not be a big deal to me. Can't force someone to parent the way you do.

Dad's house, dad's rules/requests.

Not a big deal. In fact, it is a good idea for your BS to have this responsibility.
The only thing I would do is tell your BS that if the dog every does run off, to go wake up XH and have him go after the dog.
You really can't dictate what goes on at the other parents home unless there is a dangerous situation.
This is not dangerous.

I love the fact that the child has some responsibilities in looking after his dog. If you are worried about him running after the dog then just talk to your son and say, what would you do if Rex wasn't there when you looked for him? And guide him to a solution that involves getting adult help. Hopefully he will suprise you with a responsible answer.

It depends, is it his chore to let the dog out in mornings? If so then I wouldn't say anything; however, if he just does it because, I would tell him to start waking up his dad instead and only because I would be worried that if the dog got lose BS would get in trouble for letting the dog loose. The kid is more likely to follow the runaway dog in fear of consequences for letting it escape.

This one is simple-

BS-if dog gets loose while you're letting it in, go get dad. Don't chase after it.

Text to Ex: hey-BS said he's letting dog in while you're sleeping-that's cool but I'm afraid he'll run after the dog if it gets loose. Can you talk to him about what do if that happens? Or show him to click the leash on before unclicking the chain.

End of problem. 90% of my SO's issues with BM's are they way they speak to him.

Took me a while to think about this toffee,

a 9 year old is old enough to take a dog out on a leach, with out supervision, they are old enough to understand not to walk to are and to watch out for cars, they are old enough to ensure the chain is secure...

If there's not a chain that's easy to put on the dog with a safety clip, then I am sorry but the kid should not be taking the dog out, anything can happen any where... the dog might snap loose and run in front of a car,

I know how 9 year old boys are, they think it's cool to be seen with a dog, I had this fight over and over with Deigma that age, he would try and walk my 3 dogs, without me, he got a spanking once for doing it, cause no 9 year old is strong enough to walk 3 mid size bull terriers.....

easy. teach your son to use the leash on your own dog at home. i taught mine to sit and wait until the leash is secured before even opening the door. secure tie-out before even unhooking the leash.

then when retrieving the dog, make dog sit, and secure the leash before unclipping the rope or chain or whatever tie-out. bring dog inside, close door. make dog sit before unhooking the leash. if you can teach him this at home with your dog, hopefully he will transfer those actions over to his dad's house.

At 9, I was going to the barn, feeding 5 horses, mucking 5 stalls, tacking my pony, and riding ALONE over 7 miles to the store BY MYSELF to get candy.

FFS, kids these days are useless and wrapped in bubble wrap. No wonder they can't make a decision, think straight, or solve a problem.

You need to LET GO SOME.

I think it depends on the kid. My skid was not allowed to open the door for any reason at that age. They were wildly irresponsible and would most definitely let a complete stranger in the house while we were sleeping if the situation arose, and they would go with a stranger if one were to try to trick them into their car. They weren't even allowed out of their room if we were still asleep at this age.

However, your son sounds pretty responsible and like he could handle it. It is good you talked with him about what to do if the dog ran off. I would be worried with so many other people he doesn't know around as well.