Separate accounts & going broke
This is a spinoff of VioletsareBlue's post about whether it's better to have joint or separate accounts.
My SO & I have separate accounts and make roughly the same income, after subtracting student loan payments (I have a huge debt and he has a small one, so though he makes less income, we work out about the same). We split all joint expenses evenly, he pays me his share and I take care of the bills. But there have been many times where my SO runs out of cash before his next payday and has to turn to me, when I too am barely scraping by. I feel like he could budget his $$ better, but he disagrees (he smokes, eats out a lot at work, drives a big truck when he could take my small car to work, etc). He also opts to leave work early sometimes, which means reduced hours and a smaller paycheck. I give him $$, and he usually pays me back, but it is hard because I am counting on that money for my own expenses.
So...what do you do if you have separate accounts but your DH/SO runs out of money before payday?
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In my house if my SO runs out
In my house if my SO runs out of money she is SOL. The same with me.
DH and I have separate
DH and I have separate accounts and I am the SO that will run out of money. I get paid bi-weekly. After all the expenses that I have, I may be left with $20 or $30 to get me through to the next paycheck. DH will give me money when I need it, but I always feel guilty. He doesn't make me pay him back because he knows how much money I make and how much the expenses are, so he knows that I am not being frivilous with my money. I just have more bills than income.
That being said, your SO does seem to be spending a lot of money where it isn't needed. He should be packing a lunch, that will save a lot of money. I would never leave work early unless I have the time to cover it, and even then, I would only leave if it were an emergency or I had an appointment. I wouldn't just leave because I felt like leaving. I must have a different work ethic tho. If his check is being shorted because he is leaving work early and spending too much, then I would tell him he is SOL. Maybe then, he would budget better.
Yup, we keep our accounts
Yup, we keep our accounts separate because I refuse to contribute towards his kids and child support. But we make roughly the same (after his child support) and if he runs out of money by payday, too bad for him. If I run out of money, too bad for me.
When he got garnished for Child support and didn't have a way to pay for his car, that wasn't my problem. He knew he was gonna get garnished if he was not going to pay the full amount and I warned him.
I didn't have the money to cover his car payment anyways..
When he had his kids for a full month, he ran out of money fast (extra food, clothes and toys for the kids and babysitters while he worked) and he had nothing left to himself but I didn't contribute or help. That would've meant not paying my expenses and I wasn't going to do that. So basically its if you're out of money, too bad so sad.
Thanks for the input, guys.
Thanks for the input, guys. Just saying 'no' seems harsh, I don't know if I can do that. This week he did only take half his check out in cash (usually he cashes the whole thing and carries it around for 2 wks). Seems like he is budgeting for next week, so that makes me happy! We will always disagree on certain expenditures, I realize that. I have become a lot more tight with money just so we can make ends meet, and he thinks I am being a big grinch! But hopefully we can meet in the middle.
I usually will help him out,
I usually will help him out, but only for legitimate expenses. He knows I am not happy about it and has gotten a little better about it.
He also know that as soon as he asks me for money, its open season on me commenting/questioning/critisizing his frivolous purchases for the past few weeks. And he doesn't like that. I won't comment on how he spends his money, but once its affecting me, its fair game.
SO and I are the same if he
SO and I are the same if he runs out of $ and needs gas for work ok I'll cover it anything else and he's sol, I never run out I pay my savings first then bills so I always have access to $. I make less than he does and pay the majority of bills I pretend my cs for my kids doesn't exist in the budget and half (when I get it) goes in accounts for the kids or towards extras they might need. SO and I just discussed $ because he still has a lawyer to get since he fired his last one (pay as you go) and he doesn't pay but 2 bills of his own and half of 2 of our bills equalling way less what I pay and he's always broke and he now has to give me his check and I give him what he needs for gas and smokes and lunches. He has no idea how to handle $.
I don't like saying no
I don't like saying no either, so I tell him sorry, I just don't have the extra money. I even have a banking account he doesn't know about so I xfer extra money to that account so he can't bug me for a loan. See with my SO, he put a lot of money on his work credit card and when his boss found out, they got angry so I xfered the balance onto my credit card for him. He promised never to put money on his work card again, to his boss and to me.
Well he only made the min payments on my card while buying himself whatever he wanted with all the rest of his money which I didn't think was fair since I was nice enough to help out. So recently I found out he maxed out his work card..yep..again..$4000. Now his work is after him to pay for it.
So what does he do? He goes to the bank for a loan, gets denied, then asks me to cosign for a loan for him. I said HELL NO!! So he got angry with me. I told him I helped him out once..and thats it. It took him a long time to pay it down because he'd rather go buy a new guitar, laptop, etc..
so if I co sign for a loan, same things going to happen..he'll just make the min payments and if something happens again (loss of job when his contracts up etc) guess whose stuck with the loan? Me! I can't afford to make payments on someone elses stupidity.
So until he learns how to manage his money theres no way Im bailing him out with credit card debt anymore. He can't get his own so he would always get me to put his purchases on my card and pay it off eventually. At one point he couldn't even make the min payments so my credit isn't as good as it used to be.
Im also tired of hearing about him having to pay C/S..like I should feel sorry for him. He had the kids, not me..not my problem.
Mt SO and I keep all $
Mt SO and I keep all $ separate and work hard to keep it all equal. I usually front most of the costs for the kids (I have 2 and he has 1)and he pays be back just because I am the one who is there to do shopping and stuff. But we have divided the other living expenses and keep up our shares. We were both burned financially by our first spouses so I don't think we will ever have joint accounts. This way just keeps us both feeling in control, even if it is a false sense of control.