Need to vent. Haven't blogged in awhile. To recap, my SO has a 5 y/o who I will refer to as SS5 - although his dad and I aren't married, I do everything a parent does so I consider him my stepson. The BM is everything you could ask for in a BM - she does not supervise SS when she has parenting time but instead leaves him with his sisters, has no set bedtimes or mealtimes for him, she smokes and loves 4-wheeling and going to "the races" and the casino, etc etc. She never has money for gas to pick up SS, so we do 95% of the transportation both ways. She lets her kids run wild and would rather be a "friend" than a parent. (Is there a secret handbook they all read?)

BM has SS 3-4 days out of every 14 days, the rest of the time he is with us. This is not per court order, it is just what BM and SO agree to sort of on an ad hoc basis. She pays lip service to how she wants more time with SS, but when push comes to shove she would rather have her "me" time than parenting time with SS.

As I said earlier, BM frequently leaves SS alone at her apartment complex with his irresponsible pubescent sisters while she either works or socializes, but they dont exactly watch him. The last 2 times we have picked up SS, the sisters were nowhere to be found and he was kind of just hanging out with neighbors. So we are trying to get BM to agree that it is better if SS is only at BM's when BM is HOME and can watch him herself.

Even though this past weekend was supposed to be BM's, we picked SS up on Saturday because otherwise she was going to leave him virtually unattended the whole weekend. Since BM frequently claims that we are "trying to take SS away from her" and she doesn't get to see him enough, I wanted her to get some time with SS to make up for the weekend. So yesterday I texted asking when her next day off was (she does not volunteer this info) and lo and behold it was today (Monday). I arranged with her that she will pick SS up from our house today and keep him overnight and we will pick him up from her tomorrow before she goes to work.

At about 10 min to 2 pm (2pm was the pick-up time she suggested), she texts my SO saying she isn't going to pick SS up since it's her "one day off." Apparently, in her mind, to count as a day off it can't include spending time with her own kid who she barely ever sees! GAHHH!!!!

Meanwhile, SO didn't get the text right away, so he and SS were sitting on the couch, waiting for BM to roll up and get SS. WTF!! SO finally notices the text and calls me to report. (The backstory there is that SO would prefer for SS to never go to BM's, and he was hoping I would just say, sure honey, I will change my plans and watch SS tonight while you are at work). I pretty much told SO to tell her she needs to get her azz over there and get SS. SS was counting on seeing his mom for crying out loud! If your kid thinks you're going to get him, YOU NEED TO GET HIM! This is not a difficult concept.

Why can't BM take responsibility for her own kid? Why do I care more about how SS feels than his own mother does? Why is ok for me (the not-quite-SM) to have to change my plans to watch SS, but not ok for BM to watch HER OWN CHILD when she doesn't feel like it?

Why can't my SO stand up to BM on his own without me coaching him?

Why did I get myself into this situation in the first place?