SO and I were talking tonight about a boy one of my coworkers like. I told him I tried to warn her, but Ofcourse she doesn't listen. I brought up the time he tried to shove me through a doorway at his moms. They were having a convo and I was taught its rude to interrupt (physically or verbally) a convo. I told it bothers me that it didn't bother him. I've had two abusive relationships and tend to watch for red flags now. He says he stands by his actions bc I was being rude. So I said if I cheated on you bc I was mad it'd be okay too? He said no, that's different. A big red flag to me is that he justify physically being rough with me. I am shaking right now, some muscle thing that happens when I'm upset. I've heard the "if you hadn't done/said xxxx then I wouldn't of done/said yyyy" from both of my abusive exes. I don't want to think of SO right now. He says I live in the past bc I worry about being abused, but I think I'm just proactive to not get into another abusive relationship. Not sure if I want advice or just needed to see this in writing.
I only brought the incident up bc he asked what I warned her about.