Not our time of the months - I just mean it looks like a lot of people also have their skid visiting this weekend.

It's nice to be synced with other people this weekend- considering it's valentines weekend and all. I feel like there will be a lot of complaining on the boards - which is fine by me - I'll be here contributing my fair share, I'm sure.

I saw something fun happening for tomorrow last month, so I asked him then (a month ago) if he would be free this weekend so we could do valentines stuff. Well he said he was. I don't really keep track of visiting weekends because honestly I feel like I think about his kid enough already as it is. All I knew was that if I had known this weekend were a skid weekend I would have happily NOT GOTTEN MY HOPES UP of having an actual good time at any point for Valentines.

So turns out his daughter will be here this weekend. He said he had already discussed with her that it's vday weekend so he and I had plans. He already purchased the tickets for it. But I know how teenage girls are. At least I know how THIS teenage girl is. She always says one thing then in a week or two she will be using it as an excuse for her behavior "you don't spend time with me, or we need to spend time alone or we need to do this or that or blah blah blah." And since he is a guilty dad and never seems to see through her excuses, I can already see her using this weekend as an excuse to guilt him into buying her something or her using it to get away with not doing her share of housework, etc.

Anyway, my anxiety grows more and more on her weekends here - to the point where I end up just locking myself in a room or something. So last night I told him that I was going to go do something else this weekend. There is an expo going on that one of his guy friends told me about - that I'd really enjoy - so I will go do that instead and I told him that he and his daughter can go do the thing he already bought tickets for. (it's during the day).

He seemed to actually care :jawdrop: that I didn't want to go anymore and asked if the expo I wanted to go to was something all 3 of us could do together.

Folks -- I think we all know what it's like when one person REALLY REALLY likes doing something, and the rest of the "family" comes along and just ruins the whole experience... "I'm hungry, how long is this going to last.. when are we leaving" etc etc. I could hear it already. So of course I didn't want her there. We're either going to do something as a COUPLE or not at all. So I calmly said "NO. I really don't think either of you will enjoy this as much as I do - so I'd rather you guys go do the other thing while I do this."

It basically feels i'm sitting here trying to be proactive in my own misery!

• I'm pissed because I wanted to enjoy my original plans with him - but I knew I wouldn't have fun knowing she was sitting at the house alone or with friends while we were gone because shee has gone through my stuff before when we were gone - so I don't trust her.
• I'm pissed because even if we did our plans anyway and left her, I know later she would be using that against him to get something she wants or just to make him feel bad.
• I'm pissed because I want to go to the expo (my backup, alone plan) but I would really enjoy it more if he came along and participated in something FOR ME.
• I am pissed because I would have been better off not planning ANYTHING at all this weekened if only he had told me last month that this was her visiting weekend (he and his ex don't always stick to the schedule depending on what other events they have going on).

Anyway - I know a lot of this "misery" I am causing myself. I should just stick to my original plans, and not care what she thinks about it.. but I know HE wouldn't be able to handle anymore guilt IF she decided to use it against him. I tried explaining to him that this Vday means more to me than ever (i normally don't care about vday at all) because it's the first time where I honestly feel like i've been neglected all year - and it would be nice for him to show me that i matter, that he appreciates me, etc. etc. But I guess technically if he does something special for me on the ACTUAL day, that would count and I could stop being crazy cat lady over here.