So things have been getting more stressed between me and SO and his d14. I moved to Texas from California to try out a long term relationship with him since I work from home, and I can be anywhere for my job. That was almost 2 years ago.

The first several months his kid liked me. Then out of the blue I saw a switch go off in her. She starting doing the "father-daugther emotional incest" thing. Couldn't sit anywhere but right next to daddy, even if that meant I had to move, or he had to sit on the floor to be next to her (even if there were tons of other seats) - walking next to him on the sidewalk, she would wiggle her way in so that they were side by side and i was forced to walk behind, or ahead - lots of little things like that. Also she would request I make a certain food then make a huge plate of it, and later I'd see 99% of it in the trash, or she wouldn't even eat any of it. Or she'd start saying things like "I only eat my moms Xyz" or if one of her friends would give me a compliment on my hair or something she would make a point to tell them her her moms was better because of xyz. All these things happened in front of my SO and he was completely blind to it - and when I'd bring it to his attention, he'd say what he thought he needed to, to get me to shut up, but he'd never actually work on it - or tell her to cut it out, etc. Basically guilty daddy and disney dad and emotional incest on her part all rolled into one. To top it off, he's not a good communicator (and I actually am a communicator, just saying) - so no matter how long we spoke, the same issues would pop up on her next visit.

One weekend back in april he was sick and she invited friends over and they mad a mess. I was getting ready to leave and I heard him cleaning up (which was something he had previously agreed to do - which was have her clean up her own messes, especially when she had friends over). So when he was laying down in the bed being all dramatically sick I said something about him being angry because he had to clean up a mess and if he was enforcing the rules he wouldn't have to clean up after her while he was sick. Well he blew up at me and started yelling about how she wasn't my concern, stay out of the business, it doesn't concern me, I'm not her parent and I should mind my own business. Well since he was yelling and she was right in the next room with her friend, I know she heard it and that pissed me off. So at that point I decided to DISENGAGE.

I started finding ways to do my own thing on her weekends (which was hard because I don't have a car and his house is in an area where the NEAREST activity is a 5 miles walk away). So I'd walk 5+ miles each way just to make sure I was out doing my own thing when she was around. When she was over I was polite but I didn't go out of my way to start conversations or plan things for us to do together (or for just the two of them to do together like I used to).

A couple of her visits went that way, with me being disengaged and he got more upset about it because he said _I_ was making it awkward. All these months were I was bending over backwards to make it good environment and suddenly _I_ was the bad guy yet again. So he ended up breaking up with me over it. Which means I will be going back to California (I kept my apartment this entire time, so at least I have a home to go back to).

We broke up on the 20th and WE HAVE BEEN GETTING ALONG GREAT since the breakup. Even on the day of, after all the crying and talking, we ended up spending the day together watching movies and talking (while she stayed in her room pretending to be sick) She was at her grandparents house when we had the breakup talk though. It was the FIRST TIME since all the drama started that he actually HEARD AND UNDERSTOOD what it was I was telling him all these months. I am a COMMUNICATOR - I don't yell and scream to get my point across so I think if I wasn't screaming he didn't take me seriously or something. But during the breakup for the FIRST time I lost my temper and cried and yelled and told him (again) all the issues. It was like a light when on in his face, and I could physically see his was "getting" it all.

The next day after the breakup he came to me at my desk and basically repeated the things I'd said (all the issues) and said he finally got it. He said he was being a bad father by not addressing those issues, and bad boyfriend. That he realized he was being a dick and that he was putting me in an impossible situation of "damned if you do, damned if you don't" - which was true. If I left and did my own thing to avoid her, it upset him, if I stayed and was quiet around her, it upset him. He also said "I don't know where this will lead and I can't make any promises but I'd like us to continue talking while you're still here."

Well like I said, we've been getting along since,like when I first got here. Laughing, having fun. Having real conversations about random stuff. Except we don't say I love you or kiss or hold hands or anything. We even started having sex again (several times since the breakup, MY choice). I don't mistake the sex for us getting back together. I AM STILL LEAVING. I have some loose ends with clients I picked up in the area that I won't be able to keep when I move back, and a dental appointment and my dental plan isn't covered in the other state - already checked - so I plan to make the 2 day drive back (with my cats) around the 8th. He knows the date, and my plans.

We're even going to a concert that we had previously made plans to attend this weekend but here's where it gets even weirder.

This weekend is his D14 visiting weekend. He told me last night that another adult couple will be going to the show with us (who I like) and I made a comment like "This will be the first time since I've been here that we're going out with ADULTS only.. i'm really looking forward to it" (he either brings his d14 to adult events that I hate because people always look at ME with those eyes of "why did she bring her child here, it's not for kids" , so I don't go, or it's just the two of us)

He said something like maybe D14 will invite a friend over or something while we're gone -- (the last time we did that I came back to the house to find someone had been going through my clothes and high heels - yes, I am anal enough to notice when my stuff is out of place).

WELL I have a strange feeling that he will or already has purchased another ticket for her to come with. The other couple is driving (so that we can drink) so if she comes that will mean we're all smashed into the back seat together... which I am sure will kick things off into a nice awkward environment right off the bat.

I actually just now checked the concert page info and the show says "all ages" so now I know she will probably be included. I was hoping he'd have enough respect though to LET ME KNOW before hand. I'm sure he won't as per his usual old behavior of not communicating things.

My issue right now is, it's going to be even more obvious when she comes this weekend and suddenly it's awkward again. I actually don't even know why I care - considering I'm still leaving. It was just like.. I kind of wanted this one last time to go out, and have FUN without her. I'm already leaving, why not let me have this one last hurrah, ya know. Plus I just looked on the fridge and see on her school schedule that she's now officially out of school at the end of this week, so I'm hoping she won't choose to stay here all week -- since that is my last week and I'll be packing and stuff. I really don't want her to have the pleasure of watching me pack up and leave. She already won - I don't need her watching me drive away out of her fathers life forever. I'd like that to be a private moment - I had even planned to leave on my day off, while he was at work.

There is nothing I can do about it, I'm just venting a bit and updating everyone on my new relationship status. Disengaging caused a break up.