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Is it normal.....

committedstep's picture

Submitted by committedstep on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 4:05am

So I'm sitting on the couch with SO & SD16 watching tv. SD has come and laid on her father and is grabbing at his hands etc. She is is asking what I have done with her daddy & where has he gone because he has offered to take my 2 bio's to macdonalds for breakfast in a couple of days while I'm at work. I replied jokingly that I had chewed him up & spat him out :? to wich she replied that I should stay away from her daddy! My SO untangled.himself from her and got up to make a cup of tea then came & sat back down next to me.... I felt like yelling before he did that..... Is anyone else dealing with this type of crap?

Comments

herewegoagain's picture

Submitted by herewegoagain on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 4:43am

Wow, yes, that is a bit sick. Honestly, I think this is learned behavior. Normally the BM tells her "daughter" that daddy loves the other woman more because of X, Y or Z. With that, they start putting in these kid's heads this issue of they must "compete" with the other woman. It is sick. They truly do become a "mine spouse" or at least attempt to be. Your DH handled it rather well in that he got up and went to sit next to you, but I too agree he should have said something to her as well.

Good luck. I dealt with that only a little bit when the kid was about 11...she would come and start RUBBING my husband's chest...it was disgusting! Thankfully, my DH would immediately tell her that it was inappropriate and make her stop. Usually causing him to also get away from her. Good thing I never had to deal with it after she got older, I think I would have completely lost it. I mean, my son hugs me and gives me kisses, but he doesn't sit there rubbing me or sit on my lap "trying to make out with me!"

committedstep's picture

Submitted by committedstep on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 5:01am

Thanks for replying. Biggrin my SO is affectionate with all of his kids so that in itself is something I have had to get used to. What bothers me is a child inciting me into a "competition" for his affection. You may be right regarding BM as she is a total piece of work. I will blog on her one day soon as I need advice/clarification regarding issues surrounding her behaviour as well. I'm so so happy to have found this site a weight has really started lifting for me in the last couple of days... I have a voice finally and people who will listen.

committedstep's picture

Submitted by committedstep on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 7:20am

Good lord! SD often cries & complains that she doesn't have a good relationship with BM. My so has been "knight" in shining armour since she was 4 (shes not his bio). Her BM is emotionally unstable, controlling & highly manipulative. However as I blogged yesterday she is so d's up by BM the kid is constantly in conflict trying to take care if her mother! God help me I must be a lunatic to be involved in this Blum 3

Funny thing though, as I have also mentioned in previous blogs, she yells at the other kids in the house to shut the Fuck up if they dare to speak while she watches tv. I reported this to SO last night & expressed I wasn't happy about it. After he sat next to me on the couch tonight every time she spike hr yelled in a high pitched voice "shut the Fuck up SD16!" Not very mature but highly funny

Jsmom's picture

Submitted by Jsmom on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 9:07am

He gave her spousal status and then you came along and she is defensive of her role. You have to stop it every single time and make comments to him about how inappropriate it is and he will start to stop her in her tracks every time. Eventually she will get it...

imjustthemaid's picture

Submitted by imjustthemaid on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 11:35am

Oh I would die if SD15 did that. Its funny because she is so awkward and weird and does not know personal space. All of a sudden we are nose to nose. Its so weird. The other day she awkwardly walked over to DH and starting rubbing his shoulder. His whole body tensed up and he walked away. Later on he was like that was so weird. I think she was trying to prove something to me but it didn't work. Gross. Now I notice he doesn't let her get that close to him. I think it freaked him out.

Newstep's picture

Submitted by Newstep on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 2:46pm

OMG SD does this all the time!!!! SO has to be in close proximity to her at all times. It drives me nuts. He will be in the kitchen helping me with dinner and she will rest her head on his arm and just move along with him like she is part of him. It is so creepy!! If he happens to walk outside while she was in her room she comes back in and its "where's my dad" over and over. Or if he goes outside to smoke she is hot on his heels. I finally put a stop to that no matter what she is a kid and doesn't need to be exposed to second hand smoke. She nearly lost her freaking mind when he said she couldn't follow him outside to smoke anymore. She now sits right by the door (SO smokes in the backyard)and tries to listen to our conversations through the closed door. Or she stands in the doorway with the door open because she has to tell him something or show him something. He is very affectionate with me and she hates it!! I can always see her glaring at me when he is hugging or kissing me. It is so annoying and SO is oblvious to any of it.

bi's picture

Submitted by bi on Tue, 02/07/2012 - 2:55pm

sd pulled the "where's my dad???" crap in a panicky voice any time he left her sight. he was usually just in another room. i asked her one day if she was afraid he was gonna run away and never come back. so annoying to hear "where's my dad?" 50 million times a weekend!