In my previous posts I have been seeking support surrounding the dynamics of my SO and SD16's relationship and the effects this was having on our relationship. I ended up raising issues with SO and was pleasantly surprised at his willingness to ease the frustration. He stepped up. The roll on effect of this happening however is that SD16 has now moved out and living with BM. While I am happy that I no longer have to deal with her dramatics and thinly veiled jealousy I really feel bad for SO. He raised this child from the age of 4 to 16 and BM has now said that SD16 can only visit him every second weekend. Laws here dictate that a 16yo can choose where he or she lives either independently or with a parent. SD16 has been bleating to SO for years that BM is "abusive" and "controlling" this set up a dynamic of SO always playing protector. He would get phonecalls from SD saying Mum is going off I need to get out of here. He would go straight to their house and pick SD up and yell at BM for being abusive. When I have spoken to BM and her mutual friends about these instances it is all a storm in a teacup and is actually SD16 playing her parents off against each other. One time he picked her up in dramatic circumstances was the result of not wanting to do the washing up when BM asked her to, so BM smashed a plate on the floor in front of her. I think that SO has been taken for a ride by SD16. He is really shocked that after all the years of "protecting" her at her request she turned around and ditched him over money. BM is getting all of the financial support for SD, SO told her that it needed to change this year as we are unable to afford paying for her school fees, uniforms food and living expenses without it. When she told BM that we had asked for $50 per fortnight to help support SD she refused and told SD that SD could have the $50 per fortnight if she moves in permanently with BM. SD moved in with Mum. SD then decided that she wanted to come on a Monday night too - we said no. I feel bad for SO as I know that this was hard for him but he too now realises that he has been too soft and too ready to step in on SD's word when now it seems apparant that she has probably embelished a lot of what is going on. I'm mad with BM as although she has been happy to use SO and I as babysitters for her daughter so she can have a "life" as soon as we said we needed support to keep it up she refused and went as far as telling SD and SO that "he is not your father and has no legal right to you." Sad but true words. Nurturing, playing with, loving and supporting a child who is yours in all bar blood is certainly a risky business when you have ruthless BM's involved that think of nobody but themselves. Do any others have any opinions/advice on this? I think legally we have no rights due to her age and the fact that it's her choice, just a bitter pill for SO to swallow after raising her as his own. She knows no other father as BM lost contact with her real Dad when she was only 2.