Bad weekend.......
SO daughter (16 1/2) has had a melt down all weekend....
She has not spoken to either of us since last Wednesday - even though he brought her (enables her behaviour) and built her new wardrobes / drawers / side drawers & bedding on Wednesday. She takes and gives nothing back to him.
She sulked all day Saturday - she texted him whilst we were out Saturday afternoon to ask when he was coming home to make her tea / evening meal as she had to go to work at 6pm !!!!
We get back to his house after cutting our afternoon short so he can make her tea. When we get back to his house at 4.45pm there is a sink full of washing up from Friday tea / Saturday breakfast and lunch. He asked her why she hadn't washed up - her reply 'why should i have to wash up for you'!!
His reply 'why do i make your meals / wash and iron your clothes / take you to school / take you to work every day - i will tell you what you start doing this for yourself - i will do my own and you can do yours'!!!
Her reply 'whatever / fine'!! Sh slams upstairs whilst he makes her meal !! I am purely a spectator }:)
She comes down stairs eats her tea and leaves her plate / cup knife and fork on the counter top again. Gets her coat on and she says 'are you taking me to work?!! - so he does!! :sick:
She is sulking because she is going to her mothers after work on Saturday night to sleep & because i am at his house!!!
10.45pm text arrives 'are you picking me up tomorrow? (from her mothers) he ignores it - he is now sulking too - joy!!
Sunday morning another text from her - 'are you picking me up or what'!!! he text back - 'no get your mum to bring you or get the bus'!! Another text from her 'great - thanks not' !! :O
We go for a walk in the snow and he gets another text 'where are you and when are you coming home'?!! He says she wants a cup off coffee !!! OMG she is nearly 17 years old.
We get back 10 minutes later - she is still not speaking to either of us - he makes her a cup of coffee - does she say thank you - NO!!! :sick:
She sits there for next 4 hrs staring at us / crying and sniffling, wrapped in a blanket - he ignores her (so do i - she is not my daughter - she is not my daughter !!!!
SO then tells her to go to her room if she is going to sit and cry - she ignores him and still sits there and cries.
I ask him to take me home as i cannot stand this 
She starts her counselling tomorrow for her eating disorder ......... Just fantastic not !!!!!!!
Thank you for listening :O
Wow - sounds like she needs
Wow - sounds like she needs counseling for more than just an EATING disorder.
And your DH needs counseling too! What? Does he want a daughter who is going to live with you guys until she dies an old maid?? I mean, quit with the guilty daddy stuff. She is almost SEVENTEEN, not almost SEVEN.
I would very much lose any amorous feelings I had towards a man who was so spineless.
^^^^ I agree with you re all
^^^^ I agree with you re all this ^^^^^^ }:)
I really don't what he is thinking - she moved in with him full time last May !!
Amourous ???? Nah lost that a while ago
Spineless YES / Disney Dad - YES / Balless - YES / Gutless - YES
End is in sight
Oooh princess cannot do
Oooh princess cannot do anything for herself - HIS fault i may add
He is sinking fast and just gets defensive with me - so i opt out and spectate the spectacular fall outs !!! :sick:
Look at the ONLY positive
Look at the ONLY positive here (as far as I read) - you don't live there and can leave whenever you want. I dealt with a lot of this in the beginning of my marriage. I have 3 SKs who truly expected a hot breakfast, lunch and dinner (not because their dad EVER did it, but because there was a woman in the house). That's the one thing I made clear UP FRONT. The only hot meal I will prepare is dinner and that is only because 1) I'm a SAHM, and 2) because I have my own bios to feed.
Seems Daddy needs to not only say no (because I think he did) but actually follow through. If he says no, then just does it four hours later or whatever, she will learn that all she has to do is sulk for 4 hours and someone will do it for her!
She is the most ungrateful /
Hee hee thank you Lynn123 -
Hee hee thank you Lynn123 - its ok i have a very large stock of Pinot Grigio - but thank you for the offer - cheers
Does the preparing tea/food
Does the preparing tea/food have anything to do with the eating disorder therapy? A friend dealt with anorexia/bulemia for years and had to be monitored for 1 hour after each meal (to make sure she didn't purge).
No him making her meals /
No him making her meals / washing / ironing / taking her out / walking / shopping / baking etc is nothing to do with her ''eating disorder' she just cannot do anything for herself and is never encouraged to do it either. Parents fault !!! :sick:
Eating disorder is to control him and his life - he cannot breathe without her
Recurring theme here - HER BIO PARENTS FAULT }:)
YES you are correct he taught
YES you are correct he taught her everything she knows :sick:
Wow, dad must be so proud of
Wow, dad must be so proud of what he raised.
Ha ha!! He is soooo very
Ha ha!! He is soooo very proud of her - both her parents are!!!! :sick:
That seriously sucks! This
That seriously sucks! This girl is going to have to be weaned away gradually because throwing her in at the deep end is going to cause havoc.
The only thing I can suggest is that your SO encourages her to 'help him' with all that he does for her.
What my dad, god rest his soul, used to do was teach me how to do painting and decorating in the home, he'd start me off...show me how it was done...and then tell me he had to just 'pop out for a minute' and I finished the job...I'm like 10/11 and I was proud of the work I did! What a sucker I was huh? My point is that she can be positively encouraged to begin to do stuff for herself.
Wow I feel so bad for you
Wow I feel so bad for you (((HUGS)))
That story screams CONTROL ISSUES in that family. She needs help perhaps but you and your husband may want to consider having a counselor for yourselves too. Eating disorders are hard even when there are no other family issues. I live with a disorder myself that I try to keep on top of. You are in a hard spot on many levels, hope you take time for you and allow yourself breaks.
Feel free to private message me if I can be of help or just listen.