OMG what are they thinking ......
Hi there fellow steppers
Just letting off steam – thank you for listening……
My partners daughter 16 ½ (17 in 4 months) has control / entitlement / attachment issues re my SO (I have posted a lot!!!)
Anyhow – she has an ‘alleged’ eating disorder that started last May when my partner and I decided to sell our houses and buy one together – this is not happening now as his daughter moved in with him last June and that put an end to us living together – we have been together almost 11 years. (sigh…….)
SD finally went to GP last October re not eating / losing weight – she was referred to Mental Health Eating Specialist Clinic for group therapy and is weighed weekly at GP surgery by a nurse.
She went to her first session on Tuesday 22nd January (hurrah!!!) – 2nd session was due 29th Jan.
BM took her to her appointment under protest (BM protesting because it would cost her petrol money to take her a 20 minutes’ drive - one way only as partner was picking SD up - Oh and BM pays nothing / nada / diddly squat for her daughter).
If you recall my other long posts BM threw SD out last May when she started creating re my partner and I selling our houses.
BM has been very controlling for last 11 years and more recently re he times she would see her daughter since she moved out – BM decided it’s her life and she will do what she wants!!!
BM took SD to first therapy session and went in with her!!!!
BM apparently didn’t like the look of the girls in the group and SD said they were all fat and eat too much – apparently one young girl shared with the group she felt she used food to control issues and problems in her life because she was raped by her dad – very sad. This is a REAL problem not just a teenage girl being a silly / spoilt / entitled princess like SD.
So BM has decided SD is not going again.
I asked partner what he thinks about this and he just shrugged his bloody shoulders and said he didn’t really want his daughter mixing with this sort of people OMG could not believe my ears!!!!
He also said they were all over eaters so it wouldn't do his daughter any good - I explained to him the rationale of eating disorders to him - FOOD is the focus and the control and it doesn’t matter if they starve themselves or overeat and binge!!!!
So spoilt / entitled princess SD took the place in the new 20 week sessions from someone else who may be desperate to go and would really benefit – she is selfish girl and her parents are stupid too !!!
So:
•I asked my partner if they have cancelled her place at clinic – he answered ‘I don’t’ know’.
•I asked partner if they had contacted clinic to explain the reasons SD is not going and to ask what happens now and perhaps arrange a meeting – he answered ‘I don’t know’.
•I asked him if they were taking her back to her doctors – he answered ‘I don’t know’.
•I asked if they were going to continue watching her lose weight to control them – he answered ‘I don’t know’.
•I asked what they were going to do to get this girl help – he answered ‘I don’t know’.
He then flung himself round (he is 48 years old) and said he was fed up and had had enough!!!!
I as utterly gobsmacked so I suggested to him that he contacts the Eating Disorder Clinic arrange to meet with them to find out what happens now i.e. will they still see her / will they offer her 1:1 therapy / will they still weigh her each week or go to his daughters GP and request a private counsellor and PAY!!!
OMG this just goes on and on – they are the most stupid parents I have ever met – they won’t talk to each other – their daughter just gets more and more controlling by the day – she is spoilt / entitled / miserable / sick / petulant and in the throes of a very dangerous eating disorder game.
They all suck the life out me.
My mantra – not my daughter / not my business / not my problem / live my life and be done with them!!
Thank you for listening and letting me vent – feel so much better.
Hi dtzyblnd You are so
Hi dtzyblnd
You are so right.
It is a huge mess - but i am not a saint - i am just bloody stupid xx
11 years and you can't live
11 years and you can't live together because of this dtr? I'm so sorry....
It makes me wonder how this would have went, if when she moved in, you stayed. Obviously it was already a problem, but you leaving your own home, seems to have given her more control. Do you think she really has an eating disorder? Or do u think its just manipulative? If you think its manipulation, seems the less attn she gets, the more effective that would be, instead of all the huff and puff over her...
If its real, she needs help, and they need to quit beating around the bush and get her help, and finding excuses as to why she doesn't need it. How frustrating!
Hello notagain2012, thank you
Hello notagain2012, thank you for your response.
Yes 11 years - i have blogged previously re the reasons for this - mainly the 'troubled' stepdaughter and dysfunctional parents - disney dad / controlling BM -Golden Uterus at its best.
It was a decision i made not to live together as we both have children and i didnt really want my daughter to be part of a 'blended' family.
The 'alleged' eating disorder started when we decided it was time to move in together. Do i think its real - she has lost weight - she looks emaciated - you know thtat look when head is out of proportion with her body - low weight & BMI - but she is controlling / manipulating and is getting lots of attention i.e. cries = buy something / shouting /temper tantrums = she is not well OMG buy her something - cancel everything to do what she wants to do ..... ??? Electra Complex also at its best :sick:
I really dont know and at this time care less daily - got to get it out of my head space - not my daughter, not my problem. Got my own home, my own life and a lovely daughter.
It does help to vent here - to rationalise things.
It does suck being part of step families - it is a crazy / disruptive / tiring / mind numbing life.
But hey i dont live with him so i am luckier than most the wonderful ladies here.
Thanks for your response xxx
I swear we must be dealing
I swear we must be dealing with the same people!
It has been brought up more than a couple of times that my SD is cycling through days of starving herself or purging, but he does nothing! When a girl goes to the bathroom within a few minutes after she finishes eating, and then comes out and goes straight to her purse for gum? Not suspicious?
My SD was supposedly cutting about a year and a half ago. I just know what I was told...never saw her with cuts or anything. My SD started seeing a counselor. That only lasted about 3 sessions. Her stepfather got tired of driving her. Neither my husband nor his ex went to a single appointment with her! I'm thinking she stopped that and moved to an eating disorder instead...I'm pretty sure most of the girls on her dance team have issues with eating disorders, and that is where the pressure to be thin is coming from.
Hi there cantkeepdoingthis
Hi there cantkeepdoingthis
Oh my are we
Keep smiling, keep your head held high - it's not you - it's these stupid parents who have their head buried in the sand because they cant face up to the reasons behind these unhappy, eotionally disturbed, spoilt, entiltled children.
It just maybe something to do with them :jawdrop:
{Hugs} to you xx
Where did you get those cool
Where did you get those cool "dots"?
Anyway since you have so little respect for this fellow of yours and his ex and daughter is idiots I'd suggest you tell him to concentrate on his daughter instead of you.
This will give you time time to test the waters of a new relationship which can't help but be far superior to this one.
Of course you could just ignore his kid, and his attempts at parenting as well as his ex-wife and let them wallow through the mess. You see billions of children are going to grow up without your help and will actually end up doing just fine. So will this one believe it or now.
OCC - you do have a habit of
OCC - you do have a habit of coming on peoples blogs and telling them what they think and what they feel and to just leave the relationship.
I thought this sight was to vent / let off steam :?
I know millions of children grow up without my help - what a bizarre thing to say and a very wrong assumption / judgement on your part that you think i think I can fix everyone. :jawdrop:
You don't know me - you don't live my life - if you don't like my posts because they irritate you - dont read them or comment on them.
Oh and change your record ''just leave the relationship'' its really boring.
Respectfully lostthewiltolive }:)