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Frustration Station

paradoxsmom's picture

Submitted by paradoxsmom on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 8:31am

Well, lets see, this is my first post and I have no clue where to even begin to start. The latest frustration is dealing with my ss bm. My own mother is getting married February 14th at 1pm. Its a school day and my children have to take the day off, and my ss is expected to miss a day and be there. Well, his bm decided that because he is failing 6th grade that missing a day is to much, even for a wedding that the tux is already paid for. So, now he will not be attending the wedding.

My thoughts: the kid has was failing before they moved, and is failing again. He doesn't get grounded or his phone taken away. There are no negative consequences at his bm's home. I am thinking that grades are important, however missing a day will not bring his grades up. And at this point they aren't going to make his grades drop either.

Maybe I am being wrong and selfish because I want him to be at a family function. I had a stepmonster in life that kept me from everything. I don't want him to feel he isn't wanted.

Comments

paradoxsmom's picture

Submitted by paradoxsmom on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 9:27am

oh DH is on the fence. His son lives with his bm, so therefore she can say if he can attend the wedding or not. He doesn't want to start a fight about it so he just does as she says.

paradoxsmom's picture

Submitted by paradoxsmom on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 9:30am

Thanks for your feedback. I am just going to have to let it go, and I talked to SS about it. He has a butt load of issues as it stands, so even though we said over and over don't blame your mom, she is worried about your grades (he is 12). Your responsible for your own actions. I got a text from DH this morning that his son is blaming us.

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 9:18am

Whose time is the wedding on and what does your DH and the Div. decree say?

If he misses out then you apologise that he couldn't be there and his mother made the call on her time. Also he may want to think about his future and bring his grades up so his doesn't miss stuff in the future. Because theoretically if he is failing school he shouldn't miss any days he is capable of attending.

paradoxsmom's picture

Submitted by paradoxsmom on Mon, 02/06/2012 - 9:34am

Honestly, they don't have set times or anything like that. They did their own divorce 9 years ago, and have stayed out of FOC for everything. He lives with her during the school year and is here on the weekends, and lives here during the summer. DH isn't going to fight about it, he thinks she is being a bit out of line but there's nothing we can do. I get the whole if he is failing he shouldn't miss. He was going to a school the begining of the year and was failing within two weeks because he refuses to do the work. They moved and within a month he is failing again. I don't think one day is going to make a difference. I know I am kind of being selfish but it just really sucks. I think some of it is his fault and some of it is hers.