:sick: for 2 days now i haven't slept. I lay in bed troving over the stresses in my life but particularly the family issues aka SS issues. I dont know if its going to get any better. There are some days where I dont even want to try. I've resigned to basically tuning out or ignoring him. I feel like if he gave me time to calm down and forgive him in between the times he misbehaves, disrespects, and irritates me, things would be better. exp..he will do something bad and i will send him to his room and not 2 mins later he will be back down stairs prancing around in my face...completely ignoring the fact that he is suppose to be in his room. We let the boys have a tv back in their room..mostly so my son will stop complaining and my SS will get away from me..The frst tv they had was VERY nice and a flat screen with a dvd player..after telling my SS not to climb on the dresser tons of times he climbed on it one last time..then tried to climb onto the tv and he and the tv came crashing down...broken. Luckily he didn't get hurt. So they were w/o a tv for months after that. And of course he wouldnt say sorry...he just shrugs and makes a stupid facial expression...or will resort to fake crying. Pretty much anytime i ask him why he has done something or even something simple like " did you wash up this morning"? he gives me an exaggerated shrug and a dumb look like * im confused...i dont speak uh de english..im possibly retarded* that's the best way i can describe it..so i dont feel like i get anywhere with him and its only getting worse. A few months back he got in trouble with his dad for sneaking in our room and stealing a swiss army knife. He also stabbed my son in the back with a sharpened pencil..enough to break the skin..he was punished for it but i found it disturbing...which was followed by another disturbing event....this particular one is one reason why i do not trust him...i was in the kitchen one night making dinner for the kids, my husband was working in the daytime and in college all night until 11 at that time so it was ALL mom. Im cooking and my SS walks into the kitchen and starts talking to me...he says " mom you know what's bad"?..night..I replied night..why's night bad? he replied no not night KNIFE..i won't kill my family with a knife" with his little demonic smile and kiddy voice. It freaked me out and I made sure I told his dad about it when he got home. Im sorry but normal kids dont say stuff like that. The other night i had a dream that i was asleep on the sofa one night and awoke to someone stabbing me one time in the stomach, i was able to take the knife from them and in turn stabbed them and dragged myself to the light switch and turned it on..it was a child or little person in a skeleton halloween costume that my son wore last year so i knew it was my son..i crawled to the hall and screamed for my husband to wake up ( still assuming my son went nuts and tried to kill me)..he comes down stairs and calls 911 and realizes its my SS in the costume. Needless to say i woke in a cold sweat. Thank god that was only a dream but i dont need this crap invading the only place i have to myself. im about 4'11 almost 5 ft and about 95lbs so not very big- my 9 yr old is about 4'1 54lbs and the 6 yr old stepson is almost as big as the 9 yr old he's 3'9 1/2 and 57lbs just to give an idea that im not that much bigger than the kids and im sure as they get older they will think " im bigger than mom so i really dont have to listen now" but im hoping that wont be the case. My husband luckily is 6'4 275lbs so NO one is pushing him around, so i guess we balance each other out. Does anyone else have bad dreams conerning their kids or SS?