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How many BM's pull the Postpartum Routine?

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 3:15pm

I know postpartum is a real illness and a horrible experience for those who truly experience it. However, I also know for a fact that anyone suffering from postpartum depression is not going to have the energy/ambition to go on vacation to Florida a week after their baby is born (which is what BM did).

With SS5, she took off to some expensive spa for five days within a week of his birth, leaving him with DH. With SS2, she waited a week, and then went on vacation in Florida for ten days, leaving the baby with DH once again.

She also used the whole postpartum routine to get out of caring for either of the children. It was "too hard" to dress them or feed or put them to bed at night. She couldn't handle it emotionally, bla bla bla. So, DH and his entire family took care of the kids for her so that she wasn't put under undue stress.

Now, she's rewriting history and telling the kids all about how she took care of them night and day and how she could hear them whimpering with her magical mommy ears from all the way across the house. :sick:

Anyone have similar experiences?

Comments

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 6:47pm

I wouldn't be thinking about it if she wasn't trying to rewrite history. And I feel like the rewriting of history is going to hurt the kids in the long run. DH did EVERYTHING for both of those kids, and BM is taking credit for the work that he did. She's writing herself into his place, and I think that is ultimately bad for the boys because it blinds them from the truth that DH has always been their primary caretaker. Her ability and determination to rewrite history actually sabotages what DH has been doing for almost 6 years now, which is basically raising two kids by himself.

Also, DH and I had started dating before SS2 was born (long story there), so BM's trip to Florida a week after SS2 was born was not before me. I was there trying to help DH take care of a newborn while BM was screwing around on the other side of the continent.

And now she is brainwashing the kids to make them think that DH is some absentee father who "left" them and left her and she's been a poor pitiful single mother this whole time.

Disneyfan's picture

Submitted by Disneyfan on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 3:48pm

She did just what her husband (at the time) and his family allowed her to do. If she took advantage of them, they willing allowed her to do so.

I think many women use pregnancy as an excuse to be nasty/mean to people around them. They get 9 months to blame it on hormones being out of wack. BULL

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 6:48pm

Well, BM will use any excuse she can to take advantage of EVERY possible situation. I swear she spends her life making up stories to justify shrugging her responsibilities off and onto other people.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 6:50pm

"This is like my SIL. SIL is STILL claiming to have post-partum depression, and her youngest is 14 YEARS OLD! It's the excuse she uses for working part-time instead of full-time, for never cooking a meal for her family, for having her sister and mother come to clean her house and do her laundry, for having to spend an hour every night soaking in her whirlpool tub, for essentially doing nothing for the rest of her life."

^^^ That's absolutely amazing. What a nutcase. She is definitely worse than BM. I don't think I've ever even heard of someone acting like that! What the hell is wrong with her family?

youngmama1b1g's picture

Submitted by youngmama1b1g on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 7:14pm

Ha! Isnt this every BM?

My husband gets so pissed when BM mentions "sacrifice" of any kind and immediately calls her on her bull. He swears he took care of SS as a baby 70% of the time and his mother, who they were living with did it 25%.
Apparently BM was only interested in SS when it came to parading the cute baby around, but night-time feedings and changing diapers were not something she willing did if anyone else was around.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Submitted by youngmama1b1g on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 7:37pm

You're right.

I should clarify I meant the ones performing as MOTY. Not EVERY biological mother.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:10pm

Yep. From what I've personally witnessed she treats both skids exactly like this. She completely ignores them and pawns them off on everyone else 90% of the time, and then when her family is in town she dresses them up and parades the skids in front of everyone. It's bizarre.

alwayscivil's picture

Submitted by alwayscivil on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 7:23pm

This is none of your business. You just want her children to like your husband more than their mother. You weren't there. You dont know the history. And your husband is probably just telling you what you want to hear because he thinks you need it.

aggravated1's picture

Submitted by aggravated1 on Sat, 01/14/2012 - 10:38pm

I agree. And the posts sound like they are written by an immature teenager. That is just my take, of course.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

Submitted by Madam Hedgehog on Sun, 01/15/2012 - 2:17pm

alwayscivil,

Have you even read all my comments in this thread? I actually WAS there when she disappeared to Florida for a ten day vacation less than three weeks after SS2 was born.

I have known SS2 since he was three days old because that is when she pawned him off on DH.

So how is it none of my business? I take care of BM's kids 26 days out of the month EVERY month of the year, and it's been this way for the last 3 years.

The boys can love their parents equally. I think most kids do, and that's normal and perfectly healthy for them. What's not healthy for them is having a mother who'd rather rewrite history to make it look like she USE to be a real parent than get her ass in gear and be a parent NOW.