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Madam Hedgehog's Blog

DH is about to cut his father out of our lives.

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FIL was not an awesome father to DH, and is turning into a pretty lackluster grandparent, and a dead-beat father in law as well.

We live in the same town as BM and also DH's sister, who is BM's "bestest friend" and who hates DH for having the gall to get a divorce.

So, FIL comes in at least once a month and uses our house as a motel so that he can visit everyone, BM included.

a good reason to get pregnant?

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i am writing this on my kindle so please excuse any errors.

dh has wanted us to get pregnant for a long time but i have not even considered it until recently. it took me four years to realize im going to spend the next decade at home raising his kids. so i figured i mite as well have my own kid at home as well. i am 27. i am not getting younger. i do want to have my lown at some point. but i feel like this is faulty logic and i am just trying to mske myself ok with a situation that makes me feel used.

how am i supposed to see this mess?

SS Birthday: I just agreed to go to BM's for SS birthday party. Ugh

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It's been four years since the divorce. Neither DH nor myself have ever been invited to a birthday party for the boys at BM's. This year she invited us both through an email, and we figured we would ignore it until SS6 started asking us pretty much every day if we were going to his birthday party at his mom's house. There is open hostility between DH and BM (he told her she was a piece of shit three weeks ago, which is true), so I have no idea what she thinks she's doing with this whole birthday fiasco.

Maiden Name update & How do you deal with all the anger?

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I just wanted to thank everyone for their advice and support in the whole maiden name issue. You all helped me realize I was dragging alot of other issues into the situation that weren't truly related. DH and I are now doing much better, and have both made important agreements about the way we look at this relationship.

Food Meltdown: the stand off just reached the 26 hour mark

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SS3 has developed pretty severe food issues over the last couple months. BM feeds the kids nothing but pop tarts and cheeseburgers, so they do not respond well to being fed normal food.

Usually, they both like pasta.

SS3 decided he didn't want to eat his pasta yesterday. DH doesn't want to give him anything new until he finishes the pasta. We've been giving him the same plate for over 24 hours and he is now standing in the dining room SCREAMING and crying. He hasn't eaten anything for over a day.

WTF? : FIL tells SS6 to take a piece of the cake I baked home to BM

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Last week was SS6's birthday. As usual, I baked a cake from scratch for him. I've done this for years. This year, I made SS6 a chocolate cake with chocolate cream cheese frosting. Despite being a total pain in the ass, the frosting turned out awesome.

FIL was here for the birthday, and had been talking to me while I made the cake, so he knew that I made it.

While everyone's eating cake, he turns to SS6 and tells him this:

"You should take some of the cake home to your mom. She loves chocolate."

Skid Weekend: what the hell just happened?

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The boys are usually pretty well behaved, but all hell seems to have broken loose this weekend.

SS2 woke me up at 630 AM this morning screaming at the top of his lungs. Apparently, he was ignoring DH, and then had an insane fit when DH sent him to time out, which included kicking the wall several times.

SS6 has been going out of his way to upset SS2 by telling him that characters from cartoons and films are dead or about to die or already dying. He finds this hysterical.

SS2 punched SS6 in the eye because he wanted SS6's blanket.

6:30 AM: BM asks me to comb SS's hair because she doesn't have time.

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DH had to go out of town this morning, so I have inherited his responsibilities and apparently BM's as well. :?

I had to pick up the boys at BM's at 6:30 because she can't be bothered to drop SS5 off at school.

It's 27 degrees and she makes me wait twelve minutes to even open the door.

Then SS5 opens the door and his hair is sticking out EVERYWHERE, his jacket is covered in some weird white stuff, and he hasn't brushed his teeth. And his jacket is unzipped as well, in 27 degree windy-a$$ weather.

SS2 looks like he has just crawled out of bed. As usual.

O/T: need advice about constant adultery paranoia

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Before I start this, I have to explain that I'm pretty sure my constant paranoia is rooted in my absurd childhood. My mother was constantly obsessing over who my father was flirting with or sleeping with and how it was totally obvious he was cheating on her, etc. They never got divorced, so my brother and I lived through pretty much 18 years of my mother's nonstop talk about how my dad was a promiscuous cheating bastard and how he would probably give her HIV someday (never happened).

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