Ended up with a horrible migraine last night, still here this morning. I want to blame a lot of things for it none of which probably caused it but meh. We'll start with wackadoo #1 my ex, for some reason is under the impression he's claiming the kids on taxes (co says I do, every year he doesn't support them over 50%, doesn't have them even close to 50% and is behind waaaay behind in cs)Now before the divorce he went on and on about the taxes, after the divorce he went on and on about them and over and over I pointed out why he wasn't claiming them both the tax laws and the co. To shut his butt up I verbally agreed if he was current on cs I'd consider giving him 30% of my return I'd keep 70%. Did I mean it not really, would I of done it probably cause I was still a sucker for him a year ago. So he wants to claim the kids wants 70%. I didn't give him anything because my car was totaled and I bought a new one (my first ever new car) I told him no, I'm not legally bound to do so, and he's behind in cs so the gov will take his return anyway. Then, oh boy the crazy kicks in, ok if I won't let him claim them can I give him 70% of my return, again NO, can I give him 30% wtf NO, can I at least give him the amount he's behind in cs so he can catch up WTF you want me to pay my own CS!!! Told him he's lost his mind it's not my fault he's on unemployement and working under the table (his work is seasonal so he doesn't work as much in the winter and didn't budget for it again, got his boss to pay him cash for the few hours he might get to work). It's not my fault his druggie roommate got fired from her job and can't help with bills, it's not my fault his gf doesn't have an education and works part time for minimum wage and since she gave her kid to the dad has to pay cs herself now. WHY the heck would I pay my kids cs!
Wackadoo #2 BM ahhh what a piece she is, tried first to say just before my SO and I went on a trip for NYE he wouldn't get his kids anymore if he went (wasn't his weekend)and he better give her cs or "bad things will happen to us." Then had a mutual coworker pass on a message to him she moved in with her newest bf (SO told him great maybe now she'll leave me alone). Then this being his weekend text me to ask what time he was getting the kids, he text her back and we picked his son up from daycare (she was there, and hugged all over the son telling him "mommy loves you sooooo much your my favorite little man, and when I finally get you back from daddy sunday your all mine, cause I'm your mommy, now tell daddy he needs to give mommy the child support so we can have food." son "mommy needs money or grandpa won't let us keep eating there." SO told him that money is between adults and not to worry about food. Put him in the car and told her that her statement alone is abusive and walked away. Then got his daughter from school, she had drove there ahead of us and the same action transpired, including the cs comment, I wanted to run her over. SO told her from now on when he's picking them up from daycare and school she's no reason to be there, she of course came back they are her babies and wants them to get to say goodbye to her and know they will be coming home soon. He said fine you can either NOT be here when I pick them up, you can tell me where you live and I can get them there at 6 or drop them off at my house. She screamed all sorts of foul language in front of the kids his daughter ran to the car and loudly said put me in the car I don't want to hear her scream at daddy anymore I hate her! That shut her up we got in the car calmed the kids down, and then find out her son's not living with her at her parents (we don't know if she really moved in with a bf) but the son isn't at her parents where his half sister and usually his sister live because "grandpa doesn't like me and told me he doesn't want me there and to get rid of me so I get to sleep at uncles they have new kittens I can't touch them they have fleas" to which sis responds "I had to stay at uncles except for last night cause we're horrible and mom told us grandpa hates us". Wow, just wow, not son had on little mermaid socks and his sisters jacket, SO texts BM about it and her response is "idk why he has plenty of his own socks." SO then says maybe she doesn't know because she hasn't had him all week, she responds with it's none of your business, what I don't with MY kids, they arent your problem to deal with and if they can't behave I can take them anywhere I want, your lucky I let you see them where's the cs Again wtf. So I do some serching found his uncle, and uncles gf, her parents all of them were recently charged with check fraud and are being sued by the last landlord, as well they all have either A/B charges or domestic violence charges in the recent past. I know no kid deserves the crap they are living under, but I also know SO wants full custody but won't fight for it even if we could afford it. He doesn't want to be the dad who took them away from their mom, and I don't want 2 little kids full time nor is my house big enough for it. I'm a worrier and a planner I know it's a possibility heck she could drop dead then we'd have them, they behave like normal 5-6 yr olds they got to time out they get discliplined by both of us, we work as a team with all 4 kids and if it's something a bio should handle that's what we do we handle our own. I'm lucky I found this site before we brought the kids in, I set precedent for expectations and behavior from the beginning, for all of us. SO's been supportive, cooperative and a partner in all of it from day 1 and I credit the advice and stories here for it all and for it going well in the kid dept. But what can I do for these kids, that isn't going to jepordize my own kids and home, nor alienate his kids from him or BM? She always attacks him for saying she's a bad unfit mom, he doesn't say it he thinks it and points out problems but doesn't say what we both think, but she obviously knows what she is doing is wrong. So what do we do, cps has been notified about a previous issue, but they said that situation doesn't warrant an investigation, but will be kept in case further issues arise and eventually might lead to action. I hate the idea of a mom losing her kids, but she needs to step up and stop being trash she's not dumb just lazy and taught by the white trash losers she has for family.
I know this was long I had to get it out of my head, didn't help the migraine though.