Back in 2014 my husband divorced his now ex.  She got primary physical custody joint 50/50 of both children ages (daughter)4 and (son)7.  In 2015 the mother sent their son to live us because she couldn't handle him so she signed ppc over to my husband.  At that point the kids were separated.  He asked her multiple times about their daughter but she wouldn't send her too. We moved states because of job opportunities to do better for our family.  So we alternate summer and breaks. No child support due to equaling itself out  We Had a daughter together in 2016.  2019 his ex filed a motion to modify custody trying to take their son back and only allow us to see the kids 1 month out of the year. There was no substantial change so her motion wasn't granted. 2020 she said the kids need to be together because the daughter was acting out.  They did a written agreement they both signed as proof but it's not through the courts.  other wise she wouldn't send her.  They'd be with us school times, thanksgiving break and she'd have summer, spring, and Christmas break.  She said she would send money to help. We never got financial help from her and she never paid part the insurance like she supposed to.  She wanted to take her back after the first year but their son was unhappy with that so she let her stay.  She came to Vegas  (were we live) to get married.  Had the kids day before saying she wasn't getting married. But after she dropped kids off school she got married before going back home.  Told the kids it was my husbands fault.  After summer 2022 the children came home and told how the oldest was allowed to drive with his sister in the car. (He has no permit and has no experience behind a wheel.) Also that there was more beer then food in the house. They had to eat expired food next door at grandpas house. Also while in Montana and Oregon the adults stop at dispensary to get weed for their adult step brother who lives in their moms basement.  Their mom lives in Idaho where it's illegal.  The bond between the children had gotten stronger. Since my sd had been thriving so well with us and her attitude got so much better.  Sept 2022 We decided to file a motion to make this agreement  through the courts. She disagreed but did not file counter claim or turn in her discovery.  She doesn't have lawyer. Son was telling us how much he hated his mom wish he didn't have to go but we try to teach him that it's probably not hate you dislike her actions. But boy tables turned when we picked him up he disliked us.  After Christmas break she took their daughter back.  She said its because daughter refused to come back.  Stepson (16 yrs  has processing disorder) was angry at us when we picked saying we only want them for the money.  That he convinced his sister to stay so mom wouldn't have to pay child support.  (Child support would be 251$ a month for both kids) so she wouldn't end up on the street.   People always ask me what do the kids want. It's hard because they are parent pleasers   We know they want to live in Idaho not for a mature reason because they are far from mature for their age.  We have Structure and chores at our house.  At their moms they have no chores no responsibilities. She doesn't make sure they brush their teeth or shower.  We have to remind them on a daily based or they just won't do it.  Son gets to stay up all night sleep all day. During covid they couldn't come back home because  they were sick. So we had them do their first week of school online there.  They got an f in everything the first week.  So of course teens are going to be where they have complete freedom.  They walk all over her.  It even upset her husband.  She texted my husband telling him I'll give you what you want only if she finshes the school year with her split the summer and child support can start in august.  We sent that info to our lawyer We had Neurologist appointment set up for daughter Jan 11th that her mom knew about.  Since she kept her Jan 1st she said cancel it I have one in two weeks for her.  Then she said she didn't then she said she did.  Texted her the other day about it no response.  Temporary custody hearing is feb 1st.  The actual trial date is March 8th.  I've been helping take care    Of her I love her to death.  I know she loves her mom and she happy with her.  I know we're not stopping with these motions but it's so hard because is her happiness more in important then her safety and health.  Oh when she was 10 and her brother was 13 they got a hold of their moms gun because they we home alone all night and heard a noise so they grabbed the gun.  They had no proper training in handling a gun.  But do know how to load them and take safety off.  Their mom sends 25$ each once a month on a bank card she got them how ever she will spend all her money and they take some back from the kids.   She's told the kids in 2021grandma is dying but she didn't die she wasn't even as sick as their mother claims.  Tells the kids she's going to come see them doesn't come.  Told them in 2022 the cat might need to be put down but then a couple days later the cat just had the flu.  Told them they uncle is so sick.  So we called their grandpa and told us he was doing so much better.  So who is the ones that always are there when their mom makes them cry with all this. We are. We always hear grandpa bought us clothes oh we went shopping with grandpa.  And and summer activities the grandparents pay for it.  So even tho she has two jobs make 12$ hr 40 hrs a week on one job and the same on the other.  One job is helping take care of her down syndrome brother which we know she definitely frauds her hours. And her husband makes 25$ an hour.  So why grandpa is paying for everything is beyond me.