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Bi Mom is such a thorn in the side!

Lulumay91's picture

We have my step children 75% of the time.  We were already living 8 hrs apart from bio mom.  July 2023 bi mom decided to take a new job in another state that is an additional 3 hours away.  Bi mom served my DH modification petition.  She is requesting that child exchange be switched to halfway to her new home.  Also to lower child support since she is no longer working her second job. The child support form she filled is missing the health insurance paid by my DH.  Its included in the current child support.   6+ months went on and she didnt do anything with the case. During that period child exchange had to happen.  it would of still had to happen at the current location.  Bio mom asked about flying.  Since we didnt see the teens needing to be in a car for 11 hrs they have been flying the last three exchanges.  My DH filed motion to dismiss since she was not active.  The judge did not grant the motion and so pretrial is may 21st.  Courts like parties to try to settle.  So DH reached out to bi mom to try to settle.  He proposed that since they already have been flying that instead of halfway they  fly.  Also he included the correct childsupport thats based off her new income of 16.25 per hour 40hrs a wk which is 33,800 annually, his income and insurance paid annually for the teens.  Bio Mom  said no shes not going to settle becasue her annual income is 31,200.  DH even showed her the math yet she still wouldnt listen.  The income affidavit she filed under perjury with the court say 33,800 he showed her that too.  She still didnt agrree.  I cant with this idiotic woman. I just want to tell her how dumb she is.  Neither  has a lawyer however its costing us money since we would have to travel to the original state for trial.  Anyone can see she is wasting courts time by not just settling.  Either way the judge will get the same child support caculations since we used the same online service the lawyers use.  She wants the amount she originally thought it would be in the paper work she did which is 100 less a month then what true child support should be.  Im beginning to think she doesnt understand you cant get what ever number you want it to be.  

 

Comments

Winterglow's picture

Get a forensic accountant and have the real incomes brought to light. Also insist that she pays for transport to and from her home - she moved, she pays. Be prepared to get a lawyer. Either you go all in or not.

Winterglow's picture

Get a forensic accountant and have the real incomes brought to light. Also insist that she pays for transport to and from her home - she moved, she pays. Be prepared to get a lawyer. Either you go all in or not.

Rags's picture

If, she were a man.... what she makes now would not matter. Her income would be imputed at her prior higher income rate and she would be SOOL on getting her CS reduced.

Also, he-she would have been nailed for a violation of the CO by moving without the NCPs and courts approval.

We were fortunate.  DW had full physical and legal custody and there was no visitation schedule when she left the peoples republic of SpermLand for university with her baby (then 1yo) on her hip. The court hearing for the SpermClan attempt to take custody occurred a year after DW had moved for school.  They shot them selves in the foot by playing games with postponing hearings after DW had bought tickets and flow back to SpermLand for court. They did this 4 times to try to price DW out of fighting them. Good luck with that dumbasses.

DW had addressed the out of state move before we were we.  There was some tension over travel though that was primarily over the SpermGrandHags cost avoidance tendencies, and initially over whose time did travel occur on.  Her perspective was that visitation did not begin until he arrived in SpermLand and that he did not return home until the day after the visitation period.  We had to motion for the Judge to clarify on the visitation start and end times.

 

Lillywy00's picture

Income can be imputed regardless of the gender. 
 

When I was in family court, mine was imputed and I'm a woman. 
 

If people wrongly assume women are somehow magically "above the law" when in fact they are not (maybe back in 1960s when times were different but not in 2024) then it prevents men from having the proper mindset to take action and assert their parental rights. 

Rags's picture

Yes, anyone can have an income imputed.  Both parents should be held to support their child.

The preponderance of stories do indicate that men get the short end regarding family law court orders.

Rags's picture

Yes, anyone can have an income imputed.  Both parents should be held to support their child.

The preponderance of stories do indicate that men get the short end regarding family law court orders.

Lillywy00's picture

Anytime a BM or whoever says they're going to move .... report them to the nearest child support/ family court and legal authorities BEFORE they move one pinky toe out of jurisdiction. 

Never wait till after they move bc now the ball is in her court. 
 

Not to be mean but y'all knew she was moving back in 2023 and your husband did nothing. 
 

Two consulting with a good lawyer will tell you that woman should not have her cs reduced because it looks like she did not move for a better paying career she moved to be spiteful to her kids and kids father. 
 

If you all have more than 50% custody then you need to demand jurisdiction in your resident state. Especially if you know the judge is more likely to rule in your favor. 

Lulumay91's picture

We couldn't do anything about the move because we had already moved from that state 7 years ago.  So the current custody order allowed each party to move 1000 miles from that state.  

Lulumay91's picture

They could lower her child support because she  included her second job the first time.  In Idaho it's not mandatory to disclose anything over 40 hrs if it's not a mandatory job.  We learned that from our last lawyer.  she would have a good argument using an Idaho rule.  So if it's going to get lowered then we will fight that it's needs to be accurate.  

Rags's picture

Tax returns usually uncover wage and income games during court actions.

The courts in our case demanded tax returns.  We provided all documents demanded and then some.  They never provided anything more than the last 3 pay stubs.

We repeatedly demanded that they provide all information required by the court.  Crickets.  The judge ignored those requests repeatedly yet would dive deeply into our information.

We learned to provide the Spermidiot's information to the court since the wouldn't.  They didn't like that one bit.

ESMOD's picture

It's probably time to do a basic assessment of what the bottom line is here.  Based on the age of the kids.. is the 100/month more or less than the aggravation and effort of traveling to her state for a court case that you might find actually has some small chance of being in her favor anyway somehow?

I don't like people taking advantage.. but if it were spending many thousands of dollars and the actual CS impact would be less?  (and with one kid almost aging out.. will you be back recalculating soon anyway?).

 

Lulumay91's picture

Step children are 14 and 17 turning 15 & 18.  How ever my step son will not graduate until he's almost 19 and child support will continue until he graduates.  We did the child support calculations correctly and her total monthly would be 590. And when my SS graduates it'll drop to 404 for my SD.  So we wouldn't have to recalculate again.   Based on her calculations that don't include the health insurance hers said 490.  It would cost 300$ to travel to court. 

Lulumay91's picture

I think there is a good chance they would be in her favor of lowering child support that's why we tried settling.  How ever I do know that they won't agree to her original petition because it's inaccurate that's easily proved .  But as for the meeting half way with the evidence that we have been flying the teens and the written agreement between both parties the judge would look at the best interest 2hr flight vs 11 hrs in a car.