Update: BM is now threatening to put SO in prison for unpaid child support

This is a long story, I'll try and be brief.

SD broke into the house (broke a window) a few months ago and has yet to pay it back. She's also been stealing from us quite a bit (money out of our room).

After several weeks of her not paying for the window, SO confiscated some money from her. Apparently this is money BM gave her for just "being." He let SD know this morning he had done that to pay for the window and she threw a fit. Called her mom.

BM got on the phone with SO and threatened to sue ("put him in jail") for unpaid child support, which I found out is around $22000. There is no way he could possibly pay this back. I'm really scared.

SO gave SD the damn $20 and let her leave. I feel so hopeless and alone in this. He is in so much debt. We've been taking care of SD now for six months and it's been the worst experience of my life. She demands constant attention.

I am horribly distraught. I am thinking of moving in with friends... though that scares me a lot. Help.

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Tell the genius if she has

Tell the genius if she has him put in prison, she'll never get her money....duh! She sounds really smart. If he can't work, he can't pay CS.

BTW, I'm sorry that you're

BTW, I'm sorry that you're going through this. DH should speak with an attorney asap, though. I think you mentioned that he is currently paying CS. If so, that will look good for him to a judge, especially if its been consistent. Are his arrears not calculated into his monthly payment?

No, they're not calculated

No, they're not calculated into his monthly payment. We both make very little money. He has two kids from another marriage that he's been paying consistently on. But he's six years deep in not paying for his oldest two. I understand they had some kind of "arrangement" where he pays their insurance... but I'm not sure of the status on that now. This is hell.

Oh, wow. He should

Oh, wow. He should definitely try and find an attorney. A lot of attorneys will point you in the right direction as part of their cosultation at no charge. At least he could get some advice on the matter.

I can understand BM's frustration given all the facts. So, the ball's pretty much in her court. DH just needs to do some damage control at this point.

You could counter sue for six

You could counter sue for six months of back CS from the BM while she was in your custody. The child support system needs to be completely dismantled IMHO.

Yes but she's only been with

Yes but she's only been with us for six months. BM had custody of SS and SD for six years and five and a half years, respectively, and was not paid CS.

I feel ya! My DH has some

I feel ya! My DH has some severe arrears as well, mostly to BM#1...he spent one night in jail last year (not her doing) and we are constantly paranoid that he can be picked up at any time. It sucks to have to live that way. I would call BM's bluff...most likely she doesn't want to throw him in jail because if she did she would have already. She's just using the threat to control him. He should not have gave the kid back the money and he should have told BM fine....sue me/throw me in jail....when you do that SD can come live with you again and you can deal with her. Good luck with that! It is important not to give BM any feeling of control over you. Deflate her power of superiority any chance you get. He wont go to prison for CS....maybe some time in jail but he will live and she wont get a penny out of him sitting in a cell and she will have all of the responsibility for the kid while he is in there with no help monetarily or otherwise so it would only blow up in her face.