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BM almost hit me with her car yesterday. Am I overreacting?

Madam Hedgehog's picture

We get home from running errands. DH gets out of the car and starts walking SS2 to the door. I get the mail and then start across the driveway toward the house.

Then BM pulls into our driveway at our 30 miles per hour and stops about a foot away from me. She gets out, looks directly at me, and says "you guys forgot SS5" in an obviously pissed off way.

Bang. I suddenly remember that it is early release day (which means it is DH's day to pick SS5 up, not mine). I look at DH and say to him "why didn't they call you?"

BM looks at me and says "They did!"

Then she lets SS5 out of the car and drives away. As usual, DH has no reaction to any of this nonsense and continues to go about his day as planned.

However, today, I am still in shock. And I'm pissed off. And I feel like that was a deliberate threat. She got so close so fast that I literally jumped out of the way before I even realized whose car it was.

Am I overreacting?

If I EVER got that close to someone in my car, I would apologize. And if I was too pissed off to apologize, I definitely would not get out of my car and start whirling around accusations. I feel like if it had been an accident, she wouldn't have acted so aggressive after she got out of the car.

Also, why was she looking at me while making her accusations? She knows it was not my day to pick up SS5. It was DH's.

At this point, actually, I am seriously questioning her timing as well. How is it that the INSTANT we pull into the driveway, she pulls in right behind us? We were 45 minutes late from picking up SS. Considering the fact that she used to stalk us pretty regularly, I sort of suspect she was parked around the corner waiting for us to come home so she could make a big scene.

I'd really like a second perspective on this.

Comments

Anon2009's picture

I say go with your gut. It never ceases to amaze me how psycho some of these women can be.

Do you have security cameras at your home? You might want to consider getting some so you can watch the footage and see if BM is there. If she is you can have your attorney send her a nice little cease and desist letter, or look into getting a restraining order on her.

I'm glad to know you were not injured.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

This is a really good idea. I've been thinking pretty seriously about investing in a security camera (due to an attempted break in as well) and I think this incident sort of sealed the deal for me. Any suggestions?

Anon2009's picture

This link might help:

1. adt.com/residential/products-services/video-surveillance

beyond pissed-off's picture

So if she is in a "bad mood" she is given a free pass to potentially inflict serious injury on someone? What if she had misjudged her braking distance????? Stupid pranks like this can result in major harm and anyone old enough to have a child should know this.

dragonfly5's picture

"If I EVER got that close to someone in my car, I would apologize."

Yes you would, but from how you describe this self absorbed BM she probably didn't even notice you.

She was too busy complaining. I am glad you were not hurt.

mlmt1128's picture

She was wrong, but I would be pretty pissed off if I were her too. If someone "forgot" to pick up my 5 year old I would be livid.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

I can see why she was in a bad mood, but it had nothing to do with me. It was not my day to pick up SS. I had actually taken off work to go to the doctor's office because I was sick. It was DH's responsibility, and he just forgot it was early release day.

I'm also not very sympathetic toward her because she never picks SS up from school. Ever. Both SS5 and SS2 are DH's responsibility every day from 6AM until 5PM. He carts SS5 around town for school and soccer practice, takes care of SS2, and grades about 60 papers a week and answers an average of fifty student emails (he's a professor). And he's also looking for a new job and attending interviews and bringing SS2 to the interviews with him because we don't have the money to pay a sitter. So, I don't blame him for forgetting it was early release day. He has way too much on his plate already.

I'm sure she was mad because it was dad's day (it's always dad's day) and they called her. However, the message they left on his phone was so ambiguous I can understand why he didn't recognize what was going on. They didn't mention SS or his school. THe message just said "If this is JOnathan Wilson, please call back. We have an important message for you." Additionally, she is an elementary teacher, so she was released at the same time SS was, so it wasn't like she had to get off work to go get him.

Also, she made no attempt whatsoever to call or text DH to inform him he needed to go pick up SS. I think she was probably happy to be able to deliver a guilt trip and make a scene in our driveway. I just don't understand why it was all directed at me when she knows it was DH's day.

mlmt1128's picture

Sorry, I would be pissed at my own dh if he forgot our child. If he is responsible for picking them up every day, how can he forget? I am responsible for every single thing that goes on with ss. His mother shows up about once every 2 months. Maybe she feels like you are the responsible one that would remember, since he obviously doesn't? Like I said, she was defintely wrong, but I can see where she would be pissed.

mlmt1128's picture

Sorry, I would be pissed at my own dh if he forgot our child. If he is responsible for picking them up every day, how can he forget? I am responsible for every single thing that goes on with ss. His mother shows up about once every 2 months. Maybe she feels like you are the responsible one that would remember, since he obviously doesn't? Like I said, she was defintely wrong, but I can see where she would be pissed.

Madam Hedgehog's picture

That is sort of where I am coming from. I understand her being upset. I don't understand her tearing into the driveway, especially since her two year old was in the driveway with me.

And I think you had a good idea on mentioning it to her. I will speak with DH about it first, but I really think this needs to be addressed.