SS14 lived f/t with us up until August of this year when BM moved back to town. She now keeps him during the week and we get SS every weekend. Since August up until this weekend DH has been on disability from work so he's been home every weekend. He goes back to work Friday,works the night shift every other weekend 6pm-6am.

I told DH last night that I thinks its best that SS stay with BM on the weekends that DH works. This turned out to be an all night arguement between DH and I. First thing out of his mouth is that I don't like his son and went on to say how disappointed he is with me. I told him that I do not dislike his son but I do dislike his behavior. SS doesn't listen to me when DH isn't around. He ignores me and I have told DH this over and over. DH wants so badly for SS and me to have a wonderful relationship and I told DH he can't force what isn't there. We have nothing in common, we are like night and day!

The problem is my BD14 lives with us f/t 24-7. She has no relationship with her father as he is the typical deadbeat. DH feels that he has to put up with the same type of things from BD but I disagree. I parent my child and I do everything for her. He doesn't have to tell her to do anything. He does do a lot of pick up/drop off for soccer because I am at work and he is off. She doesn't have to be asked to do her school work, shower, daily hygiene, she doesn't lie, hasn't been caught stealing, she is the complete opposite of SS and DH knows this! The only gripe he could come up with is that she tends to take over the TV...ok I'll give him that!! We can easily fix that!! And she is moody. :?

DH thought about it a little more and came back and said he didn't think it was fair for his son to be "banned" from his home. He says it isn't right to punish the kid that way and that he misses his son. I understand he misses him but he'll be at work all weekend so how will that help? I also said SS has a home with his mother and I don't understand why SS should stay with his step-mother if his mother is here. It isn't my responsibilty to take care of SS when he has a parent available. I told DH that I attempted the "mom" role with SS for the last 3 years full time and it didn't work! I need a break!

SS told me and DH this past weekend that he does so much at his mom's house and so he likes to come to our house on the weekend to relax! :O WTF...I guess our house is to be treated like a freaking vacation home!! DH said nothing to him and that is when I realized that I am not keeping SS any longer! I am nobody's maid and I refuse to be used! I told DH that he was "scared" to tell SS and BM because he doesn't want to appear to be the bad guy. SS lives with his mom during week instead of on DH works days only because he was failing school. She is a stay at home mom and has time to "babysit" SS while he does his homework. SS respects his mother and doesn't respect us or our home! He does everything BM tells him to do and most of nothing DH tells him. DH usually "forgets" to enforce the rules with SS. he will tell SS once but that doesn't work. SS knows DH "forgets" so he knows nothing will be enforced. Again...how is this my problem??