Need some advise!!! DH and I have been together for 4 years and married for 1 1/2. I have 3 skids SD13, SS11 and SD7. DH and I also have a 12 month old BD together. DH works 8am-4pm mon-fri and isn't required to work any overtime unless he volunteers (he rarely works over his 40 hrs). I am a stay at home to our BD1 and I also keep skids every other week through the summer and any other week days we have them such as school vacations or holidays. DH is very involved in skids activities. DH coaches football, is scout leader, coaches softball and attends every possible activity including practices. Typically this isn't a problem but this summer BM has skids signed up for a ton of stuff. DH and I live 25 minutes away from skids and a lot of times DH will just stay at work until its time for the activity to start bc it's to much to drive all the way home and then turn around and drive back to town ( DH works in same city kids live in). Last week DH was gone every evening attending something for skids. Well last night he came home before SD7's softball practice was supposed to start. This was her 2nd practice this week so I asked if he could skip practice and stay home and spend time with BD1 and myself. He told me he really needed to be at practice bc SD7 was expecting him. I told him to go ahead. I wasn't angry but was a little disappointed. DH leaves and goes to practice and when he gets home the first thing he says to me is "please don't be mad". He proceeds to tell me that sd7 never showed up for practice and that he would have left but he had already offered to help the coach bc they were short handed. I told him I wasn't mad at him but wanted to know why BM hadn't told him they wouldn't be there. He said he text BM about 20 minutes into practice asking where they were but didn't get a reply until practice was over. BM said that she had an appointment that ran over and they couldn't make it o practice and that she had forgotten to let DH know. Ok seriously!!!!! First of all, if we did this to her when we had skids all hell would break loose!!! Secondly, DH has spent every evening this week with skids and the one night he could have stayed home to spend time with BD1 she "forgets" to inform him. I'm so sick of BM doing crap like this. She puts huge guilt trips on DH if he doesn't show up but then knowing that DH will be there she conveniently forgets to inform him that SD won't be. I was already having some issues with him being gone every evening but this just sent me over the edge! I should mention that I also attend some of these things with DH but don't feel it's necessary to be at all of them nor is it fair to BD1 to drag her out every evening and try to contain her while DH watches skids. I should also mention that BM is psycho and manipulative. Every thing she does she has an agenda for. She does not want DH spending time with BD1 and has told him numerous times that skids should always be more important than BD1 because they were here first. BD1 is a daddy's girl big time. I don't feel that she should have any more time with DH than skids do but right now she's not getting almost anytime at all. By the time DH gets home each night it's almost time for her to go bed. DH says that since she lives here full time she gets more time than skids but I don't think it should count if she is sleeping. She needs one on one interaction with her daddy! DH is a wonderful man and he really tries to do what right and be fair to all his kids. BM knows exactly how to work him and she does it constantly. However, DH will not stand up to her and allows her to keep doing this. I love being a SAH mom but it does get lonely being here all day with no adult interaction. I miss DH when he's gone and want him to be home in the evening. Am I being selfish to ask him to only go to skids activities a few nights a week? Even if he just skipped 2 days a week I would be thrilled. I don't want skids to be disappointed that he isn't there but in all honesty I don't think thy would mind if BM wasn't telling them how awful it is that he didn't show up and that it's bc he cares more about BD1 than he does them. Grrrrrrrrrr........I hate having to deal with this! Idk even know how I'm supposed to feel!!! Any advice would be appreciated! I'm sorry to ramble so much I just don't know what to do!