Need Some Advice
SS7's mother is a raging psycho. I've talked about her in my previous blogs and it just never seems to end. You would think that my FDH and her were married for 20 years, not dated for 6 months! She still holds this huge grudge with him and hated his ex-wife and hates me-for NO REASON!
Last night SS7 had a flag football game. We have attended every game, she hasn't attended ONE. Anyways, there was this huge issue on Monday night with BM not being able to find his mouth guard in his bag. FDH explained that he knows its in there, and if it wasn't in the case, then SS7 must have just put it in the pouch. Well, she claims it wasn't there and went to the store to buy a new one before his practice. When we got him ready for his game last night, his mouth guard was right there in the pouch. So FDH texted her and said "His mouth guard was in his bag, did you look or did you make SS7 look?" and she texted back "No, I thought it would be fun to go to the store last minute and buy a brand new one for $10" and that really ticked him off that she was being a total smart ass. Ooooo $10! Wow! Good for her, she finally is spending some of SS7's child support money on HIM! So FDH texted back and said "Maybe you need to look a little harder next time. Also please practice SS7's spelling words with him this week, the only reason he got 100% last week was because of us. Thanks" She texted back "Screw You! My parents and I practice them with him all the time, do not text me back, I'm done replying to you." So he sent her a little one and just said "Yeah, you do alot BM"
Well today, he gets into work and he has 3 emails .. not from BM .. from HER MOTHER. Her mom has done this before, gotten involved when she shouldn't. Any time FDH says a WORD to BM, she runs to her mommy and her mommy emails FDH. It's so pathetic! Well, then again, her parents do all the parenting when SS7 is with BM, so maybe it makes sense? Well it ticks me off, because I'm not even allowed to say boo, and I'm going to be his step-mom soon! She's just the crazy grandma! So in her email she posted a picture of BM in front of a "Teacher of the Month" reserved parking sign and wrote "BM just won TEACHER OF THE MONTH .. what awards have you won lately??" What a crazy bitch!
So here's my question ... should I email her mother (who is a complete bitch to me and about me yet doesn't even know me) and stick up for FDH since she can do it for her daughter? I really want to, but need to know if there's anything she can do to me .. legally .. it makes me nervous only for the fact that that family is CRAZY.
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Comments
Disengage. People like that
Disengage. People like that love the drama. Sounds a bit like FDH might, too. He egged her on by asking if she looked or made the kid, then by telling her to look harder next time, then a final dig with the spelling test. What was the point in all of that, knowing it would only piss her off?
^^^What she said... Both you
^^^What she said...
Both you and FDH are doing too much...He doesn't have to respond to her or talk to her the way that he does...He gets what he dishes...
The comments he sends out, what does he expect her NOT to respond or to say, "OH...You're right! OK!" No...He's just as wrong, IMO...
If he found the mouth guard, okay...Put it in the kid's mouth and keep it moving...Why does he think he needs to give her instructions on what to do "next time"...His response to her warranted what he got...He dissed her...so she dissed back...
Same goes for the spelling quiz...He needs to stay in his lane...The only thing he can affect is his OWN house and what he does with DH at HIS house not BM...Regardless of what you or he might think...It's not your business...
And no...You shouldn't say anything to Grandma...that even more childish that what has already taken place...
Unplug...
It's called justifying it. He
It's called justifying it. He hates the drama, but gets reemed out ALL THE TIME by her so for him to stick up for himself and be a dick once in a blue moon is perfectly fine.
Best advice is Do Not get
Best advice is Do Not get involved with BMs mother. Especially not via email. They both sound immature and you do not want to stoop to their level. Also, keep in mind that it may be BM sending emails through her moms account......
Yeah after thinking about it
Yeah after thinking about it for awhile I agree ... it's so hard to keep your mouth shut somtimes though, but it always is better to be the bigger person in the long run. Sadly enough it is her mother .. she is actually medically bipolar and has gone APE SHIT on me and FDH and then the next time we see her she smiles at us and is all friendly. Like I said, this family is crazy!
The only reason he feels 'got
The only reason he feels 'got at' or trumped by the BM is because it works for him to feel that way. It is all about perception. The more he engages in these petty and quite juvenile attacks the more she will behave the same way.
And why would you consider 'standing up for himself' to people he does not consider worthwhile ... worth the effort? I mean, so what? The boy 'lost/misplaced' is mouthguard. We move on. Or maybe SS misses practice because he wasn't taking care of his equipment. A cautionary lesson in preparedness perhaps?
As for the BMs mother, he shouldn't open one email from her again. He can put in a rule for all to go to a special file so they can be held for future reference if neccessary but he doesn't need to deal with it on a daily basis.
If someone like her reamed me out periodically I would 'consider the source'. Since when did her perception of events matter so much to him? I wouldn't waste my time.
Actually, ignoring them and keeping all correspondence to a minimum will annoy them more than he can imagine. As thgey thrive on the drama, no drama will make them wither and squeal in pain.
I really like the idea of not
I really like the idea of not communicating at all with BM's mom. She has obviously never done so to be proactive or helpful in communication and uses it to attack you both and defend her daughter...then she sees you in person and is all smiles. Barf.
I guess I hate to "explain"
I guess I hate to "explain" myself a little bit more. FDH does NOT fuel the fire. He's so mature and unfazed by 99% of what BM says. This ONE time he let himself go a little bit and regretted it later. No one knows what type of mother this woman is unless you're in our situation. So instead of going after DH, lets concentrate on the fact that BM is worthless.
If BM is a worthless psycho
If BM is a worthless psycho then texting her "his mouth guard was in the bag....did you look" was like poking the rabid dog. You know what you're gonna get back, so to engage means you're asking for it. We poke our rabid dog (BM) all the time but we do it for entertainment purposes. If you're gonna do it, enjoy it or what's the point is what I say!
Don't engage with grandma, ignore her and better yet, block all her numbers and email addresses. If she persists then tell her kindly that any contact from her is unwanted and considered harassment. If she continues after this, then get a restraining order against her. (We have 2 restraining orders against BMs 'friends')
What really stood out to me was that BM is a teacher?! And she was teacher of the month? WTF?! is what I have to say about that. I hope she's not in our school district. Geez, the crazies are everywhere!
But still, if this makes you really upset, then tell FDH to up his mature and unfazed reactions from 99% to 100% of the time. But I think once you sit back and think about it, it's pretty funny when they get all nuts over something stupid like that. Like an episode of Jerry Springer.
I love the analogy of poking
I love the analogy of poking the rapid dog for entertainment purposes.
If he wanted to send the text about the "missing" piece fine, but when she responded with the sarcastic text. Instead of changing the subject- becuase that means he lost the mouth piece battle...he shouldve said something like 'didnt realize you enjoyed last minute store trips so much' or 'maybe you can return it since its unopened'. Something so if she replies shes just being a complete idiot.
I also agree he should block all communication with grandma...one psycho is enough to deal with.
And in no circumstances should you ever stick up for DH- he should do it himself. So, unless he's not there and its said to your face-you dont need to dignify it with a response.
Um, sorry. If your FDH
Um, sorry. If your FDH decides to poke her with snotty remarks she is going to respond in kind. What is your point? The fact that she runs to her mother and gets her mother to send off a pissy email? Yes, childish and immature. But then your FDH opens said emails and I bet he wasn't expecting a note extoling his parenting skills?
Personally, I would laugh. The deepest thing they can bring up is Teacher of the Month? Really? My Son in law is a zone manager at Wal-Mart. He busts his butt every month and the first month he doesn't he gets employee of the month. Putting it in that context she probably got the award for turning up to work without a sick day... for a month.