My birthday today -- everyone but skids did something
So everybody BUT the skids did something for me today on my birthday. I know, there's a shocker. Okay, they said happy birthday after their dad came in with the cake this evening and the pizza, but that was it. They all have Facebok pages so they all knew it was my birthday today because they are all on facebook -- they didn't even wish me happy birthday on facebook. Not even SS21 who is away at college. Couldn't make himself do it I guess. He barely talked to me the last time he was home either. Oh well. Such is life.
The great thing was that everyone else made up for the lack of nothing the skids did for me. I wasn't surprised, just needed to vent. My best friend and her daughter got me flowers and a gift certificate to get my nails or toes done! And her grandson gave me cookies! haha (he's one!) My daughter and I went out for milkshakes at Red Robin and she gave me a beautiful card and a gift card to starbucks (with her own money!), my mom and my sister both called me, and my husband even bought me flowers and a beautiful card. I figure its not his job to buy cards for his kids -- they are 16, 18, 21 and 22. They are big kids. Can choose to do something or nothing. They chose nothing. So be it.
And I had so many of my real friends (not just those that are your friends on FB cus you knew them in high school, but genuine ones that I see often) send birthday wishes --- and that was wonderful. Brought tears to my eyes. That was what makes up for the lack of stuff that I get at home.
The way I look at it is the skids are the ones missing out on a relationship --- it's their loss. Their choice. Not mine. I've tried. Thanks for listening.
- momof5_1969's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Happy Birthday, momof5, hope
Happy Birthday, momof5, hope you have a lovely day. I am actually quite relieved when SD16 and 14 get me nothing for my birthday. Then I do not have to say a very insincere thankyou and kiss them for getting me something trashy and inappropriate - which has sometimes been the scenario. I have got a bit of a "thing" about totally inappropriate gifts since my mother used to "regift" old junk on me, that she'd had for years. Yuck!
I hear ya. Even if you're not
I hear ya. Even if you're not surprised it still hurts. They have the rest of their lives to get a clue, or not. Nonetheless, I'm glad you had a nice birthday.
Last Christmas, my darling SD
Last Christmas, my darling SD got everyone Xmas gifts (including My parents) except me. And I still had to define passive aggressive to her father while I laughed. My mother sent the gift back with a note saying I appreciate the thought but I feel unable to accept gifts from you while you treat my daughter so poorly.
Thank god for friends and family!
Happy Birthday!
I was pretty thrilled about
I was pretty thrilled about it myself, she's a fabulous woman.
I tried the first year to be nice. I went out of my way, for the first Christmas and her first birthday. Threw a big party, let her bring a friend to visit, my parents showed up, we paid her own grandmother to show up (don't ask). I was not actually Surprised when she never said thank you to me for any of the gifts that I purchased and she oozed fake gratitude to her father and everyone else present, but I was miffed. I was extremely pissed off that her father didn't say anything to her about thanking me or the fact that the thing she was just oozing about, he had nothing to do with. And at that moment, I decided it wasn't happening again. Her birthday is coming up again and her dad asked me what we were getting her. He got a totally blank look in reply.
This birthday, since SD has decided to treat her dad like he's an ATM and that's it, it going to be very surprising for her. If she actually shows up for her birthday, I'm not expecting her to show back up for Christmas }:) It just wouldn't be worth it for her.
Honestly I don't want my
Honestly I don't want my skids to give me anything. They do wish me happy bday but I can tell you that if they buy everyone but me gift my dh will be on them so fast that their heads would be spinning. He will not accept that.
Sorry that yours didn't even say happy bday. that is so sad. Just remember that if they are still kids it is their nature to 'forget' I know that my kids don't buy me a gift for my bday either so how can I expect skids too?
I used to call my Dad at work
I used to call my Dad at work to remind him of my SM's birthday so he wouldn't forget to do something nice for her. He would forget every year. Her birthday is 9/11 and even after the tragedy of 9/11 he still wouldn't remember. My poor SM.
This year my SM asked if me and my SD10 could take her to lunch & a kids movie to celebrate her birthday. I am blessed to have a wonderful SM. Too bad I didn't realize that the first 15 years she was in my life!
For the last 5 years I have
For the last 5 years I have been going all out on the skids' birthdays. Trying to make their birthdays special with nice gifts, their own special meal of their choosing, getting them their own cake (so basically when we're done they get to eat the rest), etc. The youngest SD16 has even had parties almost every year. I haven't even done that for my own daughter. This year I stopped doing it for SD22. I did NOTHING for her. I told DH I wasn't signing the card, I wasn't buying anything, I wasn't cooking anything -- I was doing NOTHING. Then I did do something for SS21 -- made him feel special, bought him what he wanted, sang happy birthday to him on his phone. No one else does all that for him. Not even his own mother -- not even his own father. Yet he couldn't even tear himself away from whatever he was doing to make a phone call or post on facebook a happy birthday.
What I am thankful for is that I have this forum to come to because if I was to complain to my DH he would say something to those ingrates he calls children, and then I wouldn't have a sincere happy birthday ... it would be insincere.
Thank you to all who wished me happy birthday here! It actually turned out very nice. I made a point of saying what a nice birthday I had on FB, and saying who had blessed me --- my daughter, my best friend, and my husband. Therefore, I know those brats saw it. I want them to feel bad --- and if that's passive aggressive of me -- then so be it. I've been so up front with them and nice, that I'm done!
I want them to feel bad because I've been nothing but nice to them, cared for them, taken care of them, told them I'm proud of them, gone to school things, etc, etc etc. No more.