Just a question that I thought I'd pose to all of you. The answer to this question seems to be so elusive to me - and the concept of FSD turning into BM right before my eyes just literally boggles my mind.

It's one thing for a parent to be able to "brainwash" their child against the other parent - through sheer manipulation or what have you. But what totally confuses me is WHY does FSDstb17 seem to literally worship BM and want to be like her and do all things that BM does? It's very scary. Here are some examples - comparisons of BM & FSDstb17:

1. BM loves art and drawing.
FSDstb17 is taking art and drawing classes in high school.

2. BM has body piercings and tattooes (a huge one that covers almost her entire back alone).
FSDstb17 desperately wants a tattoo and has already pierced her ears multiple times (including the top) and JUST RECENTLY GOT HER NOSE PIERCED behind my FDH's back and despite the fact that he forbade it!

3. BM went to cosmetology school when she was in her 20's (never used her license, though, and defaulted on the student loans).
FSDstb17 loves to color her friends' hair (no formal training, mind you) and wishes to be a "hair colorist to the stars" when she grows up.

4. BM colors her hair 3 different colors simultaneously and changes her hair color basically every season.
FSDstb17 started having her hair highlighted when she was about 12 (BM did it) and still puts huge bleached blonde chunks in front, black underneath, red all over the rest.

5. BM wears slutty clothes - ALWAYS revealing her cleavage and wearing a necklace dangling in her cleavage to draw attention to it.
FSDstb17 now does the same (has been dressing this way for about 4 years now).

6. BM dropped out of high school preggo out-of-wedlock (not my FDH's child, another baby daddy before him).
FSDstb17 has been failing her way through most of high school, does not play sports or do any EC activities. Hasn't come home pregnant....yet. Knock on wood. Recently confirmed that she IS, in fact, sexually active (and likely has been for at least 2 years now, if not longer!).

7. BM did not have her drivers license until she was in her mid 20's (my FDH made her get one before they married so she could get a JOB)
FSDstb17 still does not even have her Learner's Permit.

8. BM never had a full-time job in her entire life (just got a steady part-time job about 2 years ago) - and she's 45 years old.
FSDstb17 still does not have her first job. She leeches off of FDH for money and sometimes borrows it from FSSstb14 & doesn't repay him!!!

9. BM never went to college, never even earned a 2 year Associates degree. She only has a GED (again, which my FDH made her get so she could help him to support HER SON from another man) from years ago and she recently went to a vocational/technical school to be able to take the State LPN licensing exam.
FSDstb17 is, again, failing her way through high school and sometimes says she wants to "go to college" (translation: waste her money & ours).

10. BM is narcissistic, loves drama and loves getting attention, ESPECIALLY from the male species - even if it's NEGATIVE attention and she looks like a whore.
FSDstb17 does NOT WANT ATTENTION (wow, there's a big difference), BUT...because of the way she presents herself (dresses slutty like BM), she DRAWS negative attention from the male species.

11. BM likes weird jewelry & accessories (i.e. cheap "mood rings", weird thumb rings, cheap costume bracelets, etc...)
FSDstb17 also likes weird jewelry & accessories.

12. BM used to practice "wicca" (??), now she seems to be into Buddhism (asked skids for a buddha for Christmas gift) & Karma & is a strange person like that.
FSD into buddhism and is taking an Eastern philosophy elective class in senior year of high school.

13. BM does not own ANYTHING that she has earned or paid for. Her cars, for example, have always been purchased for her by my FDH during their marriage.
FSDstb17 thinks FDH is "giving her a car for graduation". LOL!

14. BM is very bad with money, bad credit, student loan defaults, massive credit card debt, spends money she doesn't have, doesn't save, etc...
FSDstb17 is very bad with money, doesn't save anything, goes out and blows it on clothes as soon as she gets it (i.e. birthday money, etc...)

15. BM goes through "boyfriends" faster than anyone I know - and gets engaged to someone she barely knew for a few months (that ended shortly after).
FSDstb17 has gone through 3-4 boyfriends in a fairly short time - just seems to use them then break their hearts.

These are just a few examples of how I feel that FSDstb17 seems to be literally turning into BM!!! What do you guys think? Am I crazy? Why does FSDstb17 WANT to be like BM in the FIRST place? BM is a LOSER, doesn't OWN anything, barely works, trying to go back to community college at 45 to take classes (translation: waste FDH's CS $) to become a Nurse, leeches off of FDH, manipulates everyone, is just general trash.

Can anyone figure out why FSDstb17 wants to be like her mother so badly? BM has NO redeeming qualities whatsoever. I'm thinking there HAS to be some kind of psychological explanation for this!!!! Can anyone help me & shed some light here???