Tell him that if he won't let you say anything about his dd then he can't say anything about your kids. He will parent his and you will parent yous! be done. He won't like it but every time he trys to say something about yours then remind him. If need be ask him if he can remember when you said anything about his. Don't say anything about his kids even if they mess with your things, why? If they do and mess it up then give it to dh to take care of his kids his problem send the bill to him with what ever his kids break.

When he asks why tell him that he didn't want you to be a part of that with his kids so you are giving him what he wants but with that comes his responsibility to have to pay for their actions. Stick to it too and every time he says anything about your kids tell him they are your kids just like his kids are his and he doesn't want you to say anything about them you don't want him to say anything about yours.