Now What? I Really Need Advice.
Long story short, things are getting out of control with ss15 and BM with bipolar disorder. DH has been told in the past by our attorney, a good attorney, that despite the issues, it would be next to impossible to get custody of ss15. Now CPS is involved and they are strongly advising DH to talk to an attorney again, which he plans to do Monday morning. They also say that if they are called one more time they will take ss15 and he will become custody of the state and handed over to DH. The problem is ss15 is adament he doesn't want to live with DH and BM parents are very, very involved. They have a strong influence over ss15 and they will pay for an attorney to fight DH, as they have in the past. BM and Grandparents are putting up all kinds of obstacles right now. DH has spent well over $20,000 on attorney fees and BM/Grandparents win every time.
So ss15 has been living more with his Grandparents than with BM - I think to keep CPS from being called again when BM gets out of control. DH desperately wants ss15 with us so that he can be in a better environment, CPS wholeheartedly agrees. However, I don't see this going well.
Anybody with experience in this kind of thing?
I'm really concerned about many things right now - everything. ss15 would be better off with us, I know, and I am concerned about the environment he lives in but I'm well aware of what this could potentially do to our marriage. Not to mention ss15 doesn't even want to be with us. I'm very skeptical that DH can get custody and I'm worried that he is constantly being dragged through this type of drama and nothing is ever solved.
I could really use some advice.
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Hi Lilly11. My skids BM also
Hi Lilly11. My skids BM also has bipolar disorder. She also happens to have a substance abuse problem. I have read that this goes hand in hand many times. If CPS is getting involved then you should take advantage of this time. We have had custody of the skids since May of 2005. They were 4 and 7 at the time. I would definitely get an attorney and try to fight. If your DH wants his son to live with him then all he can is try. Later on in life his son cant throw it in his face that he did not try. I wish you luck. For us it was relatively easy to get custody since she tried to commit suicide in 2005 and was Baker Acted. Check your state for what is appropriate for individuals with Mental Disorders. But if CPS is involved now is a good time. Good luck. These situations are never easy.
OMG! I would like to tell u
OMG! I would like to tell u to do what's best for the child and take him under your wing and... But... I can't. I have that same crap going on. We had my husband's son here 50/50, and he just lied all the time! He drank when we let him have a friend overnight for the first time, and went into my daughter's room (they r the same age) and took a pair of her underware and bra. Then stole money from my other daughter. Of course, the bi-polar ex accused me of allowing it all to happen and... Well... U can only imagine. This Ed almost 2 years ago, the son when he was 15. He doesn't come here anymore. Frankly, I wont allow it! We r just becoming semi-social again when we see each other in public. I don't care to! At that age, and being a boy, they r already "poisoned" and brainwashed by these women! It's sick! My husnacd is way to nice to ever confront his son or ex, so crap still goes on, even without the child living here! Today something new happened. Needless to say, the child won't stop lying and snowballing his dad who's too nice to say anything. When he tells me he's going to have a heart to heart with his win, hd frickin' forgets to mention the issue. How do u forget to ask your son why did you tell me u got a b in your summer school classes when your transcript shows an F!!!! His son is supposed to graduate this year but only has half the credits he's supposed to and he thinks he's going to graduate and go to college!!!! It causes such conflict between my husband and I! This from a man that doesn't like conflict! Lol! I am so freakin' frustrated right now from today's drama with the son!!! Honey, letting your son lie and think you are so stupid does not help your son!!!!!
smile4menow- I hear what you
smile4menow-
I hear what you are saying. I'm worried that with all our good intentions, things would get worse instead of better. It's heartbreaking that a BM would do that to their child.