i am under so much stress with moving into a new home (yay!) and working full time and two babies 1 and 3. not to mention ss6 and ss10 and their crazy mother...and last but not least dh who is the most irresponsible person on this earth. he has once again been fired so i am struggling financially oh and he got a dwi a coupole of months ago along with a ticket for suspended license and open container. needless to say i am not happy in my relationship. i have been one to say i stay because of the kids, my babies adore him although i feel he always puts them second to his children with bm. but i have reached my breaking point. since he is out of work he decided he would turn him self in and sit out his tickets (i realize how rediculous this is and typing this out really makes me sick to know i have been accompanying him on this lifestyle). i stopped by our old place yesterday to make sure he hasn't left anything behind and sure enough there were some really important things he had left including our babies 1st christmas ornaments. i stacked everything up neatly so that he could go back and retrieve it and finish up throwing all the random things we do not want. i returned home and told him exactly what and where the things were that i needed him to move. he jumps in the truck and goes. 2 hours later i call him and he's at his sisters house...drinking. 1st off you dont get to celebrate because you are going to jail! anyway he said he was going to go to the apt and get the things and throw the trash and come home. 7 hours later (midnight) i call him and no answer. 20 minutes later he returns. i was so mad i didnt speak to him and went straight to bed. this morning as i am getting ready for work i am waiting on him to finish getting ready so i can drop jail bird off and asked where he put the things i asked him to get...surprise surprise!! he threw everything away! we (me dh and the kids) packed up and i drove to the apt and made him look in the dumpster and sure enough, gone. i started crying and immediately lost my ever loving mind. i totally forgot the kids were even in the car and i was screaming at him and pretty much told him he showed me how he felt about my (our) babies and not to ever expect me to have anything to do with his kids, blah blah blah. i know i was out of line but damnit i was MAD. he screamed in my face and i left him on the side of the hwy at a car washing place. as soon as the door shut i heard my dd3 crying in the back and i was slapped in the face with reality. i feel like the scum of the earth. i hate that my babies saw and heard all of that craziness. i apologized to her and consoled her and she says "mommy it's not your fault" my heart is breaking for her. i am so disappointed with myself that i have put my babies in such a horrible situation and i cant allow this anymore. i really dont know what to do to make it right with my baby but i do know i refuse to live this way and i am not happy and i am making them not happy in the process. time to move on...