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in need of advice kind of quickly...

txcajunmom's picture

Submitted by txcajunmom on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 3:12pm

so short version...me and bm DO NOT get along. i have tried to be civil becuase of the skids but she makes it impossible. we have had too much history of arguments and i just can't stand her. besides that, she's an awful mother, had her children removed from her twice and always trying to drop them off on someone...anywho, dh attends all of ss10 baseball games. dh brings dd3 with him to the games and i stay home with ds1. i was always told bm either never attends or if she does, they do not sit together. however, last week dd came home saying she shared her fry-fries with ella (at this point i have know clue who she's talking of, she makes up friends sometimes). then later i was packing a bag for the babies and i grabed some snacks and she said yes that's what ella's mom gave me... then it made sense...bm's daughters name is similar to ella. so i ask her who's mom? and she says skids (named them) mom. i was pissed. i do not want this pill head around my baby!! so today is ss10 baseball game and dh informed me he is taking dd. i told him if i cant make it (have some things to do this afternoon)then dd cant go either. i dont like it at all.

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txcajunmom's picture

Submitted by txcajunmom on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 3:33pm

i know she wants dh back...she's told me in an argument a while ago that i should try to have more of a relationship with the skids and if she were in my shoes she would try to hve a relationship with his kids...that just keeps popping up in my head like are these two hanging around and maybe getting her used to being around bm?? i think i'm being paranoid but idk i just dont know how to take this situation...doesnt help that dd says i like skids mom, she's nice to me. i am the disciplinarian in my home, dh lets her get away with everything and i'm always the bad guy and that kind of bugs me...idk im just babbling...thanks for listening lol

FallingfromGrace's picture

Submitted by FallingfromGrace on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 3:40pm

Basically he lied to you "by ommission"...NOT COOL. This is your daughter and you should have as much say as he does with her. The reason he didnt mention it to you is becasue he knew he was wrong!

txcajunmom's picture

Submitted by txcajunmom on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 3:44pm

i agree completely...i'm just not sure where to go from here with our relationship. i am tired of the lies, or lying by ommission...i am 100% real with him and expect the same...idk what to do.

young_step_mom's picture

Submitted by young_step_mom on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 6:51pm

OMG this is awful!!! The thing I am looking forward to more than ANYTHING when DH and I finally have kids is that they will be ALL MINE (and DH's too I guess LOL) and I will NOT have to share w BM!!!! I am seriously pissed off reading this post! No way in hell would my kid be anywhere near BM. You are not being crazy, your DH is being an idiot!

oneoffour's picture

Submitted by oneoffour on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 7:48pm

Remind him that your children are not to be around his crazy ex wife. If nothing else her morals and behaviour do not make her a good influence. And he can decide the same one day if you insist on expeosing one of his children to a nutcase he dislikes. Tit for tat. Although you and I know the chance of that happening are nil to zilch. It just gives him enough rope to swing on.

I certainly would remind him how crazy you can be by dropping pepper into his underwear. Nah, don't tell him, just do it.

youngmama1b1g's picture

Submitted by youngmama1b1g on Tue, 04/19/2011 - 10:40pm

I had this exact thing happen to me. BM greeted me at the back door last easter holding my then 3 month daughter. I was livid and shaking because mama-bear instinct kicked in. Make sure you're calm when you talk to H about this- you dont want him feeling attacked either and it is tough when the kids dont know anything about whos who and such.
I eventually told my H basically that BM is not related to my daughter, so she has no reason to do anything with her. (now, if only i can get his mom to go along with this as well).I no longer hold my tongue with BM either and told her the same- were not friends, so its not cool to pick up my daughter without even asking me.
Id ask your H why would she share fries with your kid? She wouldnt share them with you? Doesnt make sense, you dont like it, so please keep the kids away from her if possible. It's not too much to ask.
Best of luck with H.

txcajunmom's picture

Submitted by txcajunmom on Wed, 04/20/2011 - 2:06pm

ehhhh, i can kind of see your point but still doesnt change the fact that i do not like that girl around my daughter. and he told me that they dont sit near each other so how are they sharing fries and snacks, etc.? i dont have a problem with the girls playing, they are kids and don't know their mommy's dislike each other at tleast that's the case with my daughter but idk i just dont want her around my children and i dont like the fact that i feel like he is lying to me. he would have a complete fit if i had his babies around one of my ex's getting all friendly... and it concerns me that when dd3 was first born he did not want her to see our baby girl or anything now they're freaking having play dates??? (ok i am exaggerating a lil, lol) i have tried to be polite in front of the kids and she gives me ugly looks so now we just act as though neither exist...plus i really cant put on if i dont like someone i can not pretend. but i do plan on attending ss game and bring the baby so my baby girl can go