Sadly if DH won't do anything than neither can you. Disengage so that you have as little to do with him as possible. That way he can't lie to you. Constantly refer him to DH.

You shouldn't have to be bothered with knowing where he is or what he's up to (if he's lying about that)

Without biodad's support it's truly like spinning your wheels. Let DH deal with him exclusively. Slowly start backing away from doing things for him or having him report to you.

I am in the same boat, except DH doesn't like it either. We've tried timeouts. We've tried no TV, no video games, etc. when he's been caught lying. We tried having him do more chores as punishment. We've doubled the amount of time for a restriction or timeout, half for the infraction, half for lying. And he STILL does it. We've tried explaining why lying is bad, that it's hurtful, WWWJD, the whole nine yards. And he STILL does it.

Part of our problem is that his BM is a liar. She lies about everything to paint herself the victim, get out of something or get her way, which is the EXACT behavior SS9 exhibits. She lies to her current husband, his ex, my SS, my DH, my FIL, her work, etc. She lies about everything to the point where she's started believing some of her own lies. Honestly, I don't believe SS9 will ever stop this behavior because of her behavior.

If you think any of the above suggestions would work, please try them. I hope you get support from DH and BM to help curb the lying. It's so dangerous and stressful. As a SM, I hate not being able to trust my SS, but the lying has built a big wall between us.

If you figure it out let me know. SS has been lying since he could string a sentence together. I noticed it by the time he was around 4 or 5 and actually mentioned it to bm as dh was deployed at the time and ss was livign with me. She was unconcernd. Said all kids lie, espeically boys. Hmmmm. I had a dd a year older who didnt lie and a son a year younger who was painfully honest. whatever. He continued lying and has never stopped.

He knows he does it has admitted that he lies all the time, "It's just what I do" and has concocted some truly wild tales. He creates his own version of events and then tells it to himself and others so many times that he convinces himself it is true. For example, my sm is mean and wicked. He has admtited to making up many stories about me that he knows are not true, but says he told them for so long he believed them and now just feels like they are true. He told everyone he was having auditory/visual hallucinations for about 3 months when he was 9. Very elaborate.

He can walk in and leave the door open and when you ask him to shut it-he refuses saying he didnt do it. When you point out that you just stood right there and looked at him while he left it open-that there is no one else anywhere around he will still look you in the eye and say it wasnt him and then he will get angry at you and begin screaming at you for "always accusing" him of stuff. Whatever. That's why I dont talk to him.

His lies are often designed for sympathy and attention. For example, recently he told my dh (who is out of town) that he has been trying to get ahold of me and my kids and he has been calling but we wont return his calls. The kid called one time in 4 months-at a time that he knew without a shadow of a doubt that we were not home. We had just got home and hadnt even had time yet to think about returning calls (we were out of town which ss knew). Then he talks to my dd on facebook and says that he will be glad when dh is home-dd asks Why? and he says I've only talked to him twice and got one letter from him. Absolutely not true-I know for fact that there are at least 2 letters (and ss confirmed getting them at the time)-dh isnt much of a letter writer-but that there are far more than 2 phone calls. There's probably been more than 10 phone calls. So why would he tell my dd differnt? Sigh.

Last time dh was deployed he spoke to dd on the phone and told her they had no electric at his home because his mom didnt pay the bill. My dd felt all sorry for him, thought we should go pick him up and let him stay with us. I told bm that I thought she should know what ss was saying and she told me that they absolutely did have electric and that MY dd must have misunderstood-I said, nope, I was sitting right next to her and heard him myself-she was so worried that she called back the next day and he again said they had no electric. Just crap to get people to feel sorry for him.

SS has no true relationships-if you lie that much it is impossible to as noone ever knows the true you.

Ground him from talking. When you catch him in a lie, he is not allowed to speak in the house for 24 hours. He must write down anything he wishes to say, ask for, or comment on. Todays children are too lazy to spend the time to write out a complete lie for you to read, it takes effort and would take away from TV/ Video Game time. Each written note can be no more than 50 words. Each consecutive lie increases the punishment time. Second lie is greeted with 48 hours of not being allowed to talk in the house. Third lie earns him 72 hours.

If nothing else, it might improve his penmenship which his teachers will thank you for. And his being silent for a day or more might lessen your stress levels.

Wow glad to hear I'm not the only one goin thru this!! SS12 has started tellin little white lies here and there. I tell him I know he's lieing and he gets this smirk on his face. When I tell my husband he doesnt see anything wrong with it. I told him that these small lies will eventually turn into bigger lies and we need to put a stop to it now!! I dont trust the kid for nothing! I like the no talking idea