It is so hard being a step parent. I was just thinking of this the other day. We see the craziness in the lack of parental responsibility and how the bio parents let their children reap such destruction but there is little to nothing we can do about it. If we say anything to the bio parents, something perfectly logical and well worded, we are the ones who are "picking" or "favoring" or being "too hard." We're are asked to, and assume responsibility of these children. Try to love them and deal with them as our own but the minute we do we are accused of doing and saying things that we never did. I don't know what is worse.......I had to deal with my ex trying to convince my daughters of all kinds of terrible acts that I never did, AND was dealing with my husband ex who basically abandoned her boys and yet was trying to convince her sons that I hated them. I tried the whole time the kids were in the house to get the exes to undertsand that it was important for the kids' emotional helath that we all work together for their benefit. I was never heard, only blamed. So I feel for what you are dealing with right now and I wish there was a solution to all the madness.

Some times physical boundaries can be helpful if the ex doesnt understand emotional ones. Could yall move the next town or two over, in the direction of your kids? That might cut back on your stress if you could do it. Kiddo's bm used to do the call 20 bazillion times a day and scream, hang up, reapeat routine. I finally couldnt take it any more and DH and I came up with a plan...He flat out told her 'i am blocking your number. i have told you that you are harrassing me multiple times and i have it recorded. Here is my email address. You may communicate with me through that.' and i havent had to hear her voice since last year. Its been nice.