I'm pissed off at the SD and she hasn't actually asked for money yet...I figure it's a matter of time, or she'll guilt DH enough that he'll just offer it and then she can pretend that wasn't her original goal.

Here's the story: SD (21) is married with a baby. Her Slacker hubby has joined the Air Force, which I think is great as it may actually give him a backbone, and maybe he'll do some work for once in his life. Before they were married, she told him he'd have to get a job because they were running out of money, and he said "I don't want to work. My mom doesn't work, why should I have to?" So since then he worked a few hours a week as a stockboy, and then as a waiter for a little while. but never a full time job.

Slacker will graduate boot camp in July. DH & I were asked if we were going to graduation. We'd have to go to Texas July 15-18 for the ceremony, which would mean I'd be spending my birthday at his graduation. DH & I are in the middle of buying a house, hopefully closing in 2 weeks, and we decided that, financially, we'd be better off not flying to TX and staying in a hotel for 3-4 days. (in my evil SM mind, I figured SD wants us to go so that we can either let her & grandskid stay in our hotel room, or we'd pay for hers) So, Dh tells SD today that we'd not be able to make it because we can't get time off work (which is probably true, we are both scheduled to work that weekend on off shifts which are hard to take off). Then DH asks her if she has anyone else going with her and she tells him "sort of" -- Slacker's mom & her BF and Slacker's dad are going. (Slacker's mom by the way hates SD - mostly because the apron strings are still too tight, KWIM?)

Then SD tells DH that she'll probably just take grandskid and drive to TX by themselves because they don't have money for plane fare. (Maybe if she hadn't quit her job 2 weeks before Slacker went off to the Air Force she could afford it!!) Now my DH is worried about her driving from CA to TX by herself with the 18 mo. old and thinks he should ride with her. WTF! If we can't take time off and can't afford the trip for ourselves, how can he take the time to DRIVE there and back with her??? When I didn't immediately say what a great idea that was, he tells me "she's still my daughter". WTF!@!!! I never said she wasn't!! He even said, maybe if she'd kept her job for a few more weeks she'd have the money, but when I said "she's an adult and she makes her own choices" he got pissy at me.

So now, he'll either be spending my birthday driving SD to TX and back, or he'll just say "let's buy her a plane ticket" (then it'll be a hotel room...and a rental car...and spending money..)

I know, graduating boot camp is important and I should be more supportive of SD being there when Slacker actually finishes something, but we just spent $2000 paying for their wedding in January which not a single other person in the family helped out with, and we loaned her rent money last year which she promised to pay back (conveniently followed by a new tattoo, I might add) and haven't seen a penny.

I'm getting really tired of being the checkbook for her, and the whole "oh, she has a baby we should help her out" is getting really old. She chose to get knocked up and keep the baby, she should have to accept the consequences.

So, am I just being a b**** of a SM, or should I just tell DH to give her money and get it over with???