12 arguments about the same thing?
My husband and I have just had the same argument again.... It's about him planning his "man trips" when SD is home. I think two weekends out of each month should plenty of time away with the boys. Stay home when SD is here. I feel terrible. I do not dislike my SD, but we are not close. And I don't want to babysit!!!! She is 12. Not old enough in my book to stay at home alone. He gets so mad because I want him here when she is here. Spend time with her, or make a dad and daughter trip! I think it would be the greatest and have suggested it several times. He makes me feel like I'm the mean Step mom. He told me I'm hurting him because I don't feel the same way about SD as I do my birthchild. I Can't help the way I feel. I don't know what to do. I just know I'm tired of having the same fight over and over.
- balancingact's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
Ask him WHY it is that he
Ask him WHY it is that he thinks you are the free, live-in babysitter when it wasn't YOU who thought it was a good idea to touch BM with your penis!??
^^Hilarious^^
^^Hilarious^^
This is a load of you know
This is a load of you know what! I don't see how your DH thinks he is even remotely in the right here???? So he sees his SD every other weekend and on that EOWE he plans a trip away from home? HE is the one who should have the guilt trip here. SD is NOT your responsbility, SD does not come for visitation to see YOU. YOU did NOT make a committment to love, honor and babysit SD when you took your wedding vows.
You are not the mean step mom, HE is the selfish bio dad. Bottom line is he is putting himself before you AND his SD. You are correct, if he wants to go out of town on SD weekends, then he needs to take her with him. she is not your responsibility just because you are married to her father.
Geeshh this crap makes me spit nails!
WHY does he think you are
WHY does he think you are supposed to love your SD like your own?????
And why is it that when SD is there he thinks that he can go out? That's visitation time with SD. Stay home, or tell her to stay at BM and come another weekend. No, he should not just go away all the time when he has SD. No he shouldn't just rely on you. Guess you could start making plans and just say, well I won't be here.
"touch BM with your penis" I like this phrase. This made me LOL.
I believe me...I've tried,
I believe me...I've tried, but then I'm a a terrible person for not inviting SD. I always try to make special nights as a family, but he doesn't want to go. Then, when I leave with my daughter and try to FORCE him to spend time with his, it's a guilt trip for not taking SD.
I agree, he has no right to
I agree, he has no right to make you feel guilty. She's not yours.
Even worse, BM is a drug
Even worse, BM is a drug addict and poor SD doens't want to be there. She is passed from us to BM's mom, and Bd's mom. I know she needs a great deal of love and guidance. But he's not willing to do it, and I'm sorry, but I don't think it should be put on me. I have my kid all the time, no joint custody for me. She's all mine. I would love for him to put forth the effort and get full custody of SD, but then I'm afraid she would be all mine too! And I only had one kid because I was worried I would not be able to provide for two. I am freakin lost. I want to be a good SM, but this is so hard!
SD or no SD I would be pretty
SD or no SD I would be pretty po'd if my husband thought he was going away 2-3 weekends a month alone with the guys. What kind of crap is that??
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^ [Actually
^^^^^^THIS^^^^^^^^^
[Actually, I would LOVE it if NN wasn't so smothering and WOULD leave once in a while but it's not worth it because his insecurities get the best of him, whether it's me that leaves or him...]
Ok, we have a cabin about 1
Ok, we have a cabin about 1 hour away. We all go there sometimes together, and yes- he goes there with his friends. I don't mind it at all. I totally trust him. It just F-ing pisses me off when he goes on SD's weekend!!! I do voice my opinion. I can be the craziest bitch on the planet. Believe me, I'm no angel. But it just seems I have to do it EVERY time he tries to go on her weekend-- he usually either finds somewhere for her to go or stays home... but he's ALWAYS trying to leave her here w/ me before even finding other arrangements. I absolutely LOVE my alone time with my Birth daughter. So- I don't mind him going out with the boys. But, I don't want to be the entertainment for SD. I was a single mom for 7 years.... back in the good ol days.