This is a very serious issue I am sure you know already. My SD from my previous marriage started cutting when she was 13 also. She was also anorexic. I think that both her bio parents getting remarried was too much of a stress on her. Her father, my ex was also a nut and didnt help her matter too much either. He was so disconnected. I tried so hard to be there for her and as supportive as I could, but being a SM, I didnt have too much of a say in anything. She ended up going into therapy and it enventually helped her to some degree. She is now 19 and pretty well adjusted. She no longer has any contact with her BD...no surprise.

Just listening to her and being supportive is really what she needs from you. We cant be expected to fix the problem. I understood her a bit more since I too was a cutter. Many people dont really understand why kids self mutilate, but it should never be taken lightly. These kids are hurting so bad inside and this is their way of dealing with the pain. They turn everything inward and dont know how to express themselves. I really hope she gets the help she needs.

My cousin used to do this. It was for different reasons though.

I agree, you need to take her to a therapist. It's okay if you have no experience with this, you can still help by encouraging DH to get her to the therapist and then by being supportive of what the therapist recommends (if you all agree to it).

Where is she cutting by the way, and what is she cutting with? How deep is she cutting? There are many different levels of cutting, and some are more worrisome than others (I know all of it's worrying, but really, there are progressive levels).

Like the others said, therapy is the way to go for your SD.

I used to cut myself when I was younger. I had a lot going on in my life and hadn't found the right therapist. I can't say I understand your SD's situation because I didn't want anyone to know that I cut. I liked to cut my one arm, and have scars to this day. There was a scare once when a family friend saw my arm and then everyone freaked out, but of course didn't address it with me, but called my therapist acting like I was trying to commit suicide. Even to this day, on occasion when I'm particularly upset, I wish that I could bring myself to cut again because it helped focus myself on physical pain and not the emotional anguish I may be feeling. I feel for the pain your SD must be feeling, but know with help, she will get over it.

Get her to a therapist ASAP. My daughter did this too when she wanted attention. I bought her cartoon bandaids and told her to wear them and she might get more attention. I had her sister tatteling on her and I watched her very well when I called her bluff but she was also seeing a therapist and when she got called out on it she quit, but there is NO substitute for a good therapist when kids do this. It is usually an attention getting behavior but can be beginning signs of something more serious.

SD15 cut herself just before Christmas this year. She claimed it was because she heard that cutting released endorphins and she thought it would make her feel better instead of the emotional pain she was in.

I looked her in the eye and asked her if she would take a hit off a joint? Smoke crack? Shoot up heroin? When she told me no, all shocked, I told her that cutting was an addiction, just like illegal drugs. Sure, it probably distracts you from the bad feelings, but in doing so, the self-disgust and shame wells right back up, and it's a nasty cycle.

(I feel like a total hypocrite lecturing her. I have cut myself, even in the last year. But I know it's an addiction; which I also have more than one to other things.)

Cutting isn't suicidal ideation, mostly. I once had a therapist who tried to tell me (after I cut ONCE) that I was suicidal. That session REALLY depressed me. I swore I would never go back, and I never did; not to that bitch, anyway.

Good luck.

my best guess is that she's depressed, like, clinically. When i was her age i sliced my arms and hands up pretty good and i was, here's the cliche, crying out for help, just wanted someone to realize how much mental/emotional agony i was in. Kids in middle school were cruel and i was depressed... prolly same thing with kiddo. thirteen is a tough age. get her in to see a psych and talk it out.

It isnt always attention getting behavior. I know, because I used to cut. You hide it and dont want anyone to see. If they are hiding it, it wouldnt be for attention because no one would know you are cutting. I suppose that some kids do it for that reason and maybe flaunt it. Most often, it goes much deeper than that. I think it best to take it seriously before you decide they are doing it to get attention.

If she's in counseling already, there's really not a whole lot else to be done, other than try your best to create the best, most safe, open environment for her when she's with y'all. She needs to feel like you care, and she may not feel that unless you come out and blatantly show her. Talk to her, give her a hug when you think she needs it. She's reaching out by doing this. I have personal experience with the issue. All I ever wanted was for someone to act like they gave a shit about the emotional turmoil I was going through, and no one ever did. It spiraled out of control and was not good.
Don't feel like a failure if she doesn't stop. She could be doing it for a lot of different reasons, so don't overanalyze it too much. Make sure she knows you care, and that you are empathetic to what she's going through right now and that you want to understand. Don't judge or jump to conclusions, and whatever you do... don't try to pray the demons out of her. (Happened to me, lol.. I can laugh about it now, but at the time it was horrifying. Those people really convinced me I might have had a demon!)