So the 14 year old SD has been living with us for two months, now please tell me if I am wrong but first let me explain. She has no chores except to clean her room and she never does it, but yet my husband gives her her allowance every Friday anyways. On top of that the rule is she can spend the night or have one friend spend the night one time a school week as a way to get her adjusted to staying home alone in the am since both me and my husband work. (His idea not mine and no I did not agree with it) Well ever since then it has been a battle she screams and cries every night throws a fit until she gets her way and he lets her go to a friends house or gets to have one over. She destroys the house then we have to clean it up cause she never lifts a finger. I thought about leaving but I love my husband. So instead last night I had the talk with him. I told him she was his responsibilty from now on. I would no longer clean up after her, I would no longer be the throw rug. I told him I was tired of being angry 24/7. I was tired of having my feelings hurt. So I set my ground rules. I said you created this drama you deal with it. When she throws her tantrums I will go to my room and you can deal with it, I will clean up the kitchen (cause I cannot stand a messy kitchen)but thats where it ends. My room has now become my safe haven. Wish me luck. I am hopeful that he will get tired of this all soon and see the light!!