Hi All, I couldn't believe I found this site. At least I know I'm not alone. I do have a little bit of a different situation though. I am married to a widowed man with two sons, ages 20 and 17. Their mother died of cancer 7 years ago. We have been together 4 years, married 1 year. The 20 year old SS is absolutely wonderful! He could have been my own. I try and do treat them both like they are my own. My husband who is retired military was very hard on his oldest son. Very strict. He is becoming a very successful young man, in college with a full scholarship and he adores his father even though he was strict on him. Now to the problem, the 17 year old. He had to get a job, so I arranged for him to get a job through a client of mine through work. Well he didn't think that was good enough for him and didn't want the job but I made him take it. He wants to drive he has to work. This boy looks and acts just like his deceased mother and my husband is very soft on him because of it. He lies, just like his older brother had been warning us. He does absolutely nothing around the house. He calls his father awful slang names that i can't even write in here. I told him he better not address me like one of his friends, I'm not one of his freinds, I'm an adult, not a teenager. I have told my husband how I hate that and he says they are just joking, but it is very offensive. I would never let my childen, who are all grown address me that way. Any time I say anything about my 17 yr ss, he always defends him in his actions. I can never try to correct him. He can go and do whatever he wishes without first doing whats expected of him. On New Years Eve he was at a friends hous and we tried to call him and he did not answer, I told my husband that I thought he was drinking. My husband said that he wouldn't do that, well that's exactly what he was doing at his friends house. My husband just never sees anything he does wrong. I will point out that he never treated the older one like that and he blows me off. Even when the 17yr old ss smart mouths either one of us I can't say anything and he doesn't say anything! It just blows me away. I know his deceased mother would not put up with his mouth and him doing whatever he wants. I made sure I have kept his mothers memory alive in our home. I have had to get to the point where I will not do anything for him or for my husband relating to him. I feel if my opinion doesn't matter than so be it! It's very frustrating to see this boy going down the wrong path because his father is afraid of discipling him because he is his youngest son and he is afraid he won't love him anymore if he does. I tell him that's not the case. His oldest one loves him so much and me as well.