Booyah!
Food has always been a huge challenge with my SS5. On top of being a picky eater he also uses food as a power play and doesn't eat in order to get attention. He will often leave food to sit and get slimy/cold and then complain that he doesn't like it and ask for cookies.
I've had enough with this, and DH was wonderful enough to give me the power! Now, we don't watch TV, play games, have toys, or ANY external stimulation while eating. For the past week or so it's been SS and I eating together, with DH eating later. At first SS would cry and whine, but I would keep reminding him that he could play when he was done eating. I also instituted a no after-school snack policy, so that he is mighty hungry by the time dinner comes around.
Yesterday DH ate with us and was amazed when I put food in front of SS and he consumed it all without complaint and in a timely manner. I've even gotten the child to eat things he would have flat out refused 2 weeks ago, like meatloaf.
SS didn't know it but Kindergarten really blew his cover. He is in a special program that tells us what he does and eats all day, and he eats school breakfast and lunch. Most days he eats all of both, a variety of foods he would make himself gag on if he were at our house. Nice try kiddo - now it's obvious to even DH that you're doing it for the power, not because you are actually gagging on the food. The worst part is that BM is a picky eater (pizza, cheeseburgers, and fries only) and will also pretend to gag on anything else.
But by golly, I'm winning!
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Comments
Congrats on your victory! I
Congrats on your victory! I just went through this last year with my SD5 and I know how you feel. It was the taking snacks away that worked for us, too. Now she will at least TRY new things before saying she doesn't like it, before it was a whiney fit and "my momma makes me something else if I don't like it."
I hate the pleading! Food is
I hate the pleading! Food is the only real time that DH totally wimps out. He wouldn't say "please behave and I'll get you a toy" so why is it OK to say "Please eat your dinner and I'll give you ice cream"? It's totally the same thing.
Yea for you Siferra!!! We
Yea for you Siferra!!! We have this same problem with SD6. She even had BM convinced that she had gastro-intestinal issues when she continued to complain about stomach aches when she didn't want to eat. So BM put her on a daily laxative. OMG!!! And she's also the kind of girl that will say she's full after two bites, but if you put a cupcake in front of her, she will devour it in 30 seconds. The greatest thing about stepparents is that it is easier to see through the manipulation and I think what you did was exactly what needed to be done. DH finally got on the same page with me in regards to this after I took over the "how many more bites?" question. My answer has always been, until the plate is clean. I don't give her any more than what she can handle.
Good for you! I guess I am
Good for you!
I guess I am lucky in the aspect that my DH is not manipulated by his kids at the table.. but then again that means that it doesn't work when I try either!
He is quicker than me to yank them out of the chair if they are throwing a fit about how they don't like this *waving their hand over everything on their plate*.
And I do the same thing tskara! If one kid eats everything and the other doesn't, then one gets dessert and the other doesn't. Cry all you want (or as long as Daddy will put up with your whining before popping your behind) but they will learn the consequence of behaving badly at the table. As well as anywhere else!
If we go into a store and I tell them to be quiet and be good, if one is good and one is horrible, then the one that behaved gets a small reward. If neither are good, neither do. If both are good, both get a reward.
You get the picture!
To add to that, when I tell
To add to that, when I tell them I expect them to be good, I make them look me in the eyes and say yes mam. So I know they are listening to me tell them to be good.
And I only tell them one time. I do not bribe them with the line "Remember, if you eat all your food you get a brownie." or "I thought you said you were going to be good for me so you get a treat."
I tell them once, and then when dinner is over (if one isn't already on the couch pouting) I get the well behaved children dessert.
Yay!!! Isn't it amazing how
Yay!!! Isn't it amazing how these small victories are really so big?!
We deal with the same issues with SD5 (although I know it's common in kids to be picky, BM has really done her work with SD...she flat out tells her she won't like something before she even tries it, also gives her the hot sauce punishment which means SD won't eat anything with spice or that is reddish sauce).
However, since SD5 has been going to kindergarten, we've also found out that she eats things at school she'd never eat at home. It's helped a *little* bit so we're taking baby steps there.
Historically, SS3 won't eat anything that his older sister won't eat. If she turns her nose up, he will too, without even trying it. The best thing has been his sister going to kindergarten and he is growing up...he's been so much more independent and makes his own decisions now and doesn't follow whatever his sister does anymore. It's awesome!
This past week I made lasagna. We fed it to the skids. SD threw a fit and refused to even try it. SS was about to do the same until he finally said he'd try a bite. SS LOVED IT! He gobbled it up and asked for seconds! We praised him profusely!