Why does one have to beg...why??
Good morning,
Why does my SD9 have to beg her BM to spend more time with us..why.. I think this is a shame. We have my SD every 2nd weekend. She asked her BM if she could come again this weekend coming up because our town is having our annual Santa Claus Parade and she wants to come. Her mom made her feel so bad and then said to her are you sure your dad wants you there..and then said to her well you are going to miss your weekend with me. My gosh she lives with her mom and we only see her every other weekend. Why does this child have to beg her mom to spend more time with us. And if my husband calls BM and tells her that his daughter wants to come to an event or just come an extra weekend she picks a fight and tells him that’s not fair because he will get 2 weekends in a row.
I just don’t get it, why does the BM have to be such a witch and make everything so darn hard, doe she not care what her daughter wants and why does she have to make my SD feel guilty and bad for loving us and wanting to spend more time with us.. she is damaging my SD and doesn’t seem to care..
She is the one who had an affair and destroyed her marriage…She chose this life..so why in the world is she so angry with my husband and out to destroy his relationship with his daughter…He lost everything financially, emotionally and the most important watching his daughter growing up… it’s bloody shameful…
How does someone handle this nonsense…..Z
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It doesn't seem fair at all
It doesn't seem fair at all does it? My husband doesn't get any weekends at all, only weekdays. BM won't let them come over for a single weekend unless we agree to give her double our weekdays back to her. Even then she backs out. We didn't even get to see the kids for Father's Day. It constantly amazes me that BM doesn't seem to care that by doing this she is hurting the kids.
Hi Stepmommy22..my gosh this
Hi Stepmommy22..my gosh this is a very tough position to be in. What is wrong with these people...It's a shame that your husband doesn’t get to see his kids. How are these kids going to have a healthy relationship with their parents when BM is sabotaging everything. The courts are always on mom’s side and dad has to pay and has no rights…it’s really unfair.
Z
Plain and simple These BM's
Plain and simple
These BM's hate their exes more than they love their children -
It sucks but it won't change - when my mother died we flew back home for the funeral - we called BM to see if we could take SS to lunch - (you have to understand my mother was in horrible pain the last month of her life and I did not get to see her - so by me giving up even 5 hours to see SS was a sacrifice I was willing to do for my dh) since we only see him 3 times a year - well because she is such a control freak she will not let us pick him up at her condo complex instead she needs to meet us somewhere. So at first she said yes we could get him - he had a day off of school but then something came up and she had SS call us and pretend to be sick - DH was very upset at BM but then I pointed out SS was 15 at the time and could have told his mother that he wanted to see his father and not lie. It was a very sad view that DH got of his son that day!
Hi caregiver1127... I guess
Hi caregiver1127...
I guess it is that simple..just doesn't make sense to me...and my I'm very sorry about the passing of your mother..
I do understand as BM pulls the same crap with us but my SD is starting to stand up for herself...Thanksgiving (we live in Canada) SD wanted to spend with us but it wasn't our weekend. She told her mom she wanted to come and her mom said they had plans on the Sunday..now we drive 1 1/2 hours to pick her up and then the same to bring her home because her mom refuses to meet us halfway..so my husband called to see if she was coming for the weekend and her mom said they had brunch plans on Sunday so we could pick her up after that and then bring her home that night...well were they had brunch was almost 2 hours from our house and then we were going to my in-laws another 2 hours away..so 4 hours there and then 2 hours to BM house to drop her off..so we said no....
Minutes later BM calls and says SD wants to come but we need to switch weekends or she cant come..so sure we swith weekends... we pick up SD and she tells us she told her mom "so you would rather me go to a brunch with your friends than spend time with my family on my dad's side" her mom got very angry and told her she didnt appreciate the fact that she wanted to come to her dads..but at the end of the day SD came and we had a great time..but it's a shame she has to go through this in order to spend time with us...
On another note...BM asked SD if she wished that her and her dad were still married and SD said No because I love my SM and could not imagine not having her in my life....so BM is really pissed with me right now.... oh well....
Z
Do you see that your poor SD
Do you see that your poor SD has to jump through hoops to see her father - that is so wrong - and I love that she said she loved you as well - my SS used to say that he knew his parents were not good together but this past summer at the age of 16 he said he wanted them back together - I don't get what alternate universe the kid is living in - I have been with DH for 7 1/2 years - that ship has long sailed!! His mother has a boyfriend that is married or possibly at this point separated but the guy has 3 girls younger than SS - he hates not being the only child in the equation!!
Godiva please!!!
Godiva please!!!
I do have a great SD...oh she
I do have a great SD...oh she has her moments but in all she's a great kid..I met her when she was 6yrs old and she's very mature for her age but then again she's the only child and has seen too much in her short life..She loves spending time with us and it's really a shame that her mom is giving her such a hard time...
You know the old saying "What goes around comes around" I sure as hell hope so....
Thanks for all the responses I really do appreciate it and it gives me strength....Z
Absolutely true. They hate
Absolutely true. They hate the ex more then they love the children. And thanks for the welcome Zoie. We do get the kids alot of the time, just literally no weekends, special occasions or holidays. It's become a pretty big strain.
Also, its wonderful that your SD wants to see you so much. I met my SS8 when he was 6. And he's never made me feel wanted that way. At least as she gets older she will have more control over being able to get herself to you guys
I hope her behaviour
I hope her behaviour continues as there are times where she tells everyone in an angry tone that I'm not her mom and she will tell her friends that my name is different than hers..well she will use my maiden name and not my married name.. I'm not sure why she does this as I'm not trying to take her moms place ..so I hope this is just a faze but we will see.... I do hope everything works out for you... Z