I am so glad to have found this site! I am BM to 3, and SM to my BF's two kids. We have all been living together for over 2 years. BF and his ex-wife split up about 4 yrs prior to us meeting, due to her being unfaithful, and other things. She never really parented their kids. Their daughter got most of her mothering from her grandmothers. The ex-wife also had a some mental issues and was hospitalized a few times for them. So these kids haven't had it easy. As horrible as she was, the kids think she is just the best and can't wait til they are old enough to go live with her, which I understand. Everyone thinks their mom is the best! No one wants to think badly of their mother. There are times where I would LOVE to tell them how she really is, but of course I never would. Not my place, and none of my business!

When BF and I met, his house was in bad shape; spills not cleand up, trash everywhere, even dog feces in his son's room. He suffers from Depression and works full-time and was raising these kids on his own. He gets overwhelmed easily and cannot deal with stuff. This is why the house was the way it was. When my kids and I first moved in, it was temporary til I found another place, but then we both decided it was something we wanted permanantly. I cleaned up the house, and made it look nice. It was a lot of work, but I was happy to do it since it was also my home now and in a way, it was my way of showing my appreciation for all BF had done for me and my kids. I know SD appreciated it, she commented once how if I wasn't there the house would still be a mess and they would be eating tv dinners. LOL The kids all get along great. Two of our daughters are the same age, and the boys are only a year apart, then we have my youngest, who pesters them all! LOL BF's mother has told me what a blessing we are all for each other and of all the positive things BF's kids are getting out of all of us being together.

One of most recent problems is when his kids come back from their weeekend with their BM, they rant and rave about all the stuff they don't like about me or that I do. It is an hour and a half ride, and by time BF gets home he is at his wits end. He feels like he is being pulled in two different directions. This breaks my heart because I do pretty much everything for SKids as I would my own. I do more for them then their dad does because I am the one home with them. When then stay home sick, I am the one that takes care of them. When they need a ride, I am the one that provides it. When they forget their lunch at home, I bring it to them at school. They come to me for pretty much everything, yet bash me to their father every other weekend. I don't know if it's their BM that bad mouths me even though she doesn't know me really, or if it's that whole, 'we are at mom's, no rules, no chores, now we have to go home to where we have rules and chores', or what. So BF decided to talk, just us, and make a 'game plan' to talk to his kids and find out what is bothering them. I feel horrible that something I am doing or have done is bothering them enough to bitch about it all the way home every weekend, and it really bothers me that no one has told me! I can't fix something if I don't know it's a problem! I hate that this is coming between BF and I. Some days I just want to give up and tell him that my kids and I are moving out, so him and his kids don't have to have us bothering them anymore, but the other part of me is like, "Hell no! I'm not loosing the man I love and letting those kids win!" LOL I also think it would help if BF told them we love each other and plan on being together forever, although they should have figured that out by now, but I think hearing it from him might help, I don't know.

We are talking tonight, wish us luck. I hope we can resolve these issues.