I found Step Talk a few days ago and was relieved! I'm new - both to step parenting and to this site, but I'm struggling so much it feels good to have taken some positive action.

I'm 30 years old and have just moved in with my bf. We are not yet married but have been together for 8 months and are really serious about each other. I love him dearly and he is the perfect man I have been waiting for. However, he has a three-year-old son who lives with his mother and comes to stay most weekends. My boyfriend is (largely) supportive but in the last few weeks I have found it increasingly difficult come to terms with the fact that his son will always be part of our lives.

I have lots of emotions - sadness, disappointment, resentment and anger - which is hard to take as I have never had such adverse reactions to anything in my life. I know it sounds silly but I'm finding it difficult to cope with the fact that he won't experience any 'firsts' with me - chiefly marriage and children. I often feel trapped. If I leave, I'll lose the only man with whom I have ever felt I could share my life, if I stay, I feel like I'll be forever second. It just feels so desparately unfair that he is my number one priority and yet I can never be his. It feels like nothing can be new and exciting. I don't know how to let the fairytale notion go!

The ex hasn't made things easy. She left my bf for another man who she has recently kicked out. Since then she has done some irritating things such as texting my bf to say she wants him back, using a family member (a child) to relay messages about how she misses him, and threatened to move out of the country and take their son.

To top it all, I have finally admitted to myself that I simply do not like his son. I know he is a only an innocent child who did not choose for this parents to split up, but he is so serious and doesn't smile very much. He shows me lots of affection which is lovely but I simply don't click with him! I tried to brush it aside and tell myself he is probably just adjusting to his new life too (his parents split about 18 months ago) but I just can't seem to truly like him. I make every effort not to let this show - I help to take care of him, I play games with him and I read to him. I know I'm lucky in many ways, he is being nice to me now, it may not always be so!

I have good days and bad days, but it's usually only good when I can somehow fool myself that all this doesn't matter...