Trying to connect with Skids and they just are rude
so... its only now that i have really started to become "apart of the family" or at least trying to get some sort of relationship with me skids.
Until now its been more of a Hi and Bye thing and a few questions but not much else, but its been pleasent and im not trying to bounce in and be the new mum in the family and we it slowly building up to more, which was a good pace for everyone.
i have tried to do activites, chatting about things they like etc, i am trying but not in there face and being annoying or anything like that. DH just says it takes time... SD 7 and i got along really well until a few weeks ago and they went to the snow with there BM.. Now honestly they wont even make eye contact with me! my SS10 and i havent really been close i am a super girly girl and he is very much a boy, so makes things a bit harder.. but i do honeslty give it a go.
since they have come back from holidays with there BM, the mood has just soured.. as in they are just now RUDE RUDE RUDE....
On saturday i was having a sleep as i was getting a migraine and just need some darkness and silence.. SS10 bashing into the room turns the light on and goes "Oh yeah... shes here..." and walked out of the room!!! but in this just nasty awful tone.
i not sure if BM has said anything to them. She has recently broken up with her BF and im not sure if she is in the kids ears saying this. but im actually so hurt! we were getting along great and now i feel like i am back at day 1 again...
any suggestions on how i can try and improve the mood? if DH asks BM anything she will honeslty deny and just go nuts anyway, but i want to show there kids im not trying to take there dad away from them... and still when i am these when they stay honeslty 50% of the time they are off doing things with there dad only getting 1 on 1 time
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thanks you for the advice
thanks you for the advice stepaside,
ohhhh don't worry i am NOT chasing them at all, i dont even do there washing or pick up after them. DH knows they are HIS kids and when i clean the house and they are here for 10mins and they destroy it, he 100% knows that he will be cleaning it up later... he just thinks they need time to adjust and come to me, i am really nice to them but if it goes on DH will be having a sit down and talking about rules within the house. im not trying to be there parent but i am a adult in the house and they do need to respect what i say... god i remember being a child and i knew the rules and when a adult asks you to help or do something it was DRILLED into me to respect and do as they say.
im just confused because it was going well and it was starting to get much better.. i think BM is getting annoyed because we have a family unit at the moment and since she has gotten rid of her partner she is jealous!
i just think i need thicker skin and not to take it personally i know when i was a kid i didnt understand my words could be so hurtful.
Funny how this is a common
Funny how this is a common theme today. I posted about my feelings being hurt by a 7 year-old today, too. I think SA's advice is good. I'm still at the point where it's hi and bye and a few questions, but no real interaction. But, he'll hug all the guys in my family even if he just met them.... I think keeping respect at the forefront and continuing to ask questions to show you're interested is the best way to go. Hang in there.