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I'm so angry all the time...(vent)

redheaded_stepmom's picture

Submitted by redheaded_stepmom on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 7:09am

Every time I am anywhere near SD15 I feel so angry and annoyed, even when she hasn't really given me a reason to feel that way. I hate that I have those feelings towards her, though sometimes they are justified, especially lately. I just feel bad that after the time passes when she has done something that annoys me or irritates me, etc., I still have these angry, annoyed feelings towards her. She doesn't deserve me to be angry at her all the time. Granted, she's done plenty in the past few months that warrants me not trusting her and not believing her most of the time, but I shouldn't be angry with her all the time. I wish I was able to get past the stuff she does, but I just can't anymore. I used to be able to. I used to be able to forgive her for the lies she told and the hateful things she would say, but since her behavior has gotten so out of control lately, I just can't find it in my to let it go and forgive her. I know she is just a teenager, but that does not mean that she can't be respectful and honest about things. I don't really know where I am going with this...it just bothers me that I am feeling this way.

Comments

anabihibik's picture

Submitted by anabihibik on Sun, 07/25/2010 - 7:33am

There's a level of accountability in her actions that you are looking for, I think. As she's getting older, it's fair to expect her to learn accountability for one's actions. Between that and built up resentment, I totally understand how it could be hard to let go and forgive. It isn't like she's done small things lately, either. But, I think, if it is any consolation, the fact that you don't like that you feel that way means you care in a more positive way than you seem to be giving yourself credit for. I point that out because, for me, when I'm stuck in one direction, having a little "but" to what I'm stuck on often helps me find the turning point. Hang in there.

Steppedout22's picture

Submitted by Steppedout22 on Sat, 01/28/2023 - 2:51pm

Struggling with the same thing. The feelings never go away, they just hang around, even when it's not appropriate. I know exactly how you feel.

Shieldmaiden's picture

Submitted by Shieldmaiden on Sat, 01/28/2023 - 2:58pm

I know how you feel. Its hard to get rid of those feelings when you know the other shoe is going to drop any day now. SD or SS will do something rude, insensitive, bullying, or stupid - and you will feel the consequences of their actions - but they won't. Its frustrating.  Make sure dH is accountable for the skids, too. Hang in there.