BM - Where to start?
This morning DH gets an email. Says that either she or SD will pick up SS11 at 8:30 AM. DH replied that: "Please send this type of e-mail by Saturday. I don't check my e-mail at 11 at night and if I need to get SS up by a certain time, I'll need to get him to bed earlier and let Jsmom know what the plan is. I get really busy at work at this time and for me to communicate this, I would have to wake everybody up by 7.
She obviously doesn't get the email and is at our door at 8:45. I answered the door and stepped outside.
I told her that she is not getting SS, he is sleeping. She stated that she gets him at 9:00 am because that is our rule. I told her no, that is when the kids wake up. When they wake up we bring them home and last week, Dawson called me to come get him, so I did. So there is no rule. I asked if she was working today. She said yes and said that SD is home. I stated that then it should be SS's choice on where to stay. She said no, she wanted him “home” and I said fine, when he gets up I will bring him to you. I asked her what she was doing? She said she is just following “our” rules, implying mine and DH's. I stated again that there are no rules of ours. She started to walk away. I said that if she wanted him earlier, she needed to send an email on Saturday night. She kept walking.
Called DH and told him, he asked me to write it down for the lawyers. As I am doing this, she calls him on his cell phone saying I yelled at her and did she need to bring the police to come pick up her child. He had to go and call the lawyers and I am sitting here trying to work waiting for this kid to wake up and take him home.
Am I wrong to wake up a sleeping kid in the summer, when she is not home anyway to be with him? We have never had any set rule, but I think she screwed up again and is planning on having SDad take SD14 and SS11 out of town to drop SD14 off at camp. He can't do that unless the court gives permission and they did, but not for SS11. So now, the lawyers bills just add up, because of this stupid woman. We have already given up on keeping custody of SD14, now she wants to make our lives miserable.
Now I wait and see what Lawyers say to do. Because if she wants to go to the letter of the CO, we technically are two weeks on and two weeks off. Which we don't do, because of her work schedule. Do you think I did anything wrong.
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I know - but, now, I am all
I know - but, now, I am all shook up. She called DH and left a VM which he saved for the attorney, saying I was confrontational. I wasn't. I just said I would take him home when he wakes up.
The good news is, since I don't see her all the time, in my head, she is blonde and good looking, but seeing her up close for the first time in well over a year, (except sitting in the car) I am feeling pretty good. The woman, has no clue how to dress. Very ill fitting pants that needed to be shortened and a cheap see thrugh white sweater. She may weigh ten pounds less than me, but she has no idea what to do with it. That was worth it. Also, she really needs to work on her highlights. I had obsessed because she is a tri-athlete and DH mentioned that she had problems keeping weight on. So being 5 feet tall and curvy, I never understood what he saw in me. This was worth it. Even though I know they are trying to build a case against us and saying I am hostile, abusive whatever. We know they are lies, but, I feel so completely abused by this woman and SD14.
We also found out yesterday, that they joined the country club. Along with other major purchases, sprinkler system andmajor landscaping. All this and now she is keeping this going in an attempt to get child support. Unreal. I actually broke down crying over the CC thing. I would love to join, but until we are more flush again after everything DH has spent on the house and the lawyers, we can't do it. Also, who does all this when you are in a court battle? DH called the attorneys and told them about the recent expenses. Since we know she won't disclose them.
"Also, who does all this
"Also, who does all this (luxury spending) when you are in a court battle?"
If it makes you feel any better about the country club thing, most Americans (sorry, I assume everyone is unless specified) have a life that looks a lot better on the outside than it actually is. Last I recall, the average American is still living above their means, spending more than they make, and going into more debt everyday. As a general rule, we suck with money.
I don't say this so that you can dream about BM's life being a horrible hell hole. I say it because I find that comparing my life, which I know every little thing about, to the parts of someone else's life that they choose to show me has never made me feel better about myself. Not once.
You know more about BM's situation than I do, but I would just suggest that you not twist yourself up over it. Everyone has problems and low points-you and your DH do, and so does BM, even if you don't see it.
I know but this is the one
I know but this is the one thing I have wanted since moving here. DH has said it would be extravagant and until we have no other things we want to save for it doesn't make sense. I agree with him, but golfing was something I did where I used to live all the time and would have loved to join a club. Down south they are more affordable. He is right since I don't have the time for it now. But, it is still ticking me off. Also, this gives one more opportunity for SD14 and her troubled SS to get in trouble. There is a pool with lots of teens unsupervised.
If it was anything else, I would let it go, but this is just irritating. SD14 had asked us to join several time and we always said it had to wait. Well she got mom to do it.
Very frustrating when you feel you are trying to do everything right and others who don't get all the rewards.
I told her that she is not
I told her that she is not getting SS,
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
I don't know the back story, but I would have taken this very badly if a SM (or anyone except BD) would have told me this about my child.
I also agree with Steperg, a lot of controling going on. Why are you all going to court and have you thought about going strickly by the CO. That normally helps in these situations.
I know, but she was totally
I know, but she was totally trying to manipulate something. She never picks up the kid. She makes them walk home. We think she is have the Sdad take the kids out of state and as always waits until the last minute and expects us to jump to her schedule. I was not waking up a sleeping child to just go to her house and sit all day. Here I am home working and can take care of him. She is off to work until 9:00 PM. She was only coming to get him, because I think lately I have been driving to get the kids and take them home. Because I don't like them walking. The whole thing is wierd.
We would love to go to court
We would love to go to court and get full custody of SD14 against her wishes. Since she is on a fast track to bigger problems. But, here in the south it is mediation before you can even go before a judge. We can't even get her to make a date for mediation. Instead, it seems like this situation is just getting worse. Now, DH had to put another $1500 on a credit card for the attorney, because of the drama this morning. I feel like we are doing everything right and she keeps getting rewarded.
This is the CO. We have one
This is the CO. We have one week on and one week off. Trust me, she has used us so much with her work schedule. Read the blogs. She and SD14 started a custody battle, because SD14 didn't want to live here with rules. On monday morning we give the kids to the other parent. There has never been a set time. When they wake up, someone takes them home or they walk. We live one subdivision over.
This is never an issue because on Monday's they get on the bus and get off at the other house after school. In the summer, it has always been when they wake up. Note it is now 10:00 and SS11 is just now moving upstairs.
That sounds great. Here it
That sounds great. Here it is all about mediation. As of today we have spent about 7K and she has to have spent at least that amount. Everyone says that mediation is a joke, because very little gets resolved and you eventually end up going before a judge anyway, which just drags the process out.
Well it just gets better.
Well it just gets better. She had Stepdad come at 11:00. I made him wait on the front step. SS11 took his time coming down and then said he was taking him to see his room. I said now, I don't think so and that it was not a good idea. He argued, I said I would need to clear that with his Dad and that today that was not a good idea.
They left DH came home and had me listen to the irate VM from BM accusing me of being confrontational and that she was having the SD come at 11 and it was her day and she wanted her son at home, even if she was working. Which is against the original order and one we haven't pursued. But, now DH has to call her and tell her that he is off at 4 and wants to come get SS. She can pitch a fit, but he is in his right. Also, we think that he may have left for the trip to take SD14 to summer camp. Which she never got permission for about SS. She did for SD but not SS. The lawyer says we can't do anything about it, but she doesn't know that and can just sweat this one out.