It is great when the Skids spill the beans
I was at lunch with my Mom and my nieces and nephews yesterday and the conversation with my SS12 and BS15 gave new ammunition for the lawyers.
SS12 let it slip that BM lets SD14 have boys in the house when she is not home. There was a boy who was riding his bike to our house and we thought he just was crushing on SD14. But, we found out later that she had told him to come over. She told her Dad she didn't even know him, but was nice to him in class. All BS. The kid left a VM on our machine. This happened several times before we gave up custody of her. BM had told her not to tell her Dad about having boyfriends. He found out and grounded her and the CO modification began the week after she turned 14.
It just gets better. SS12 has no clue that something like this would set off his Dad. He usually drops these things on me. I tell DH and he tells the lawyers in an email. My suspicion is that he wants someone to know and he is afraid to tell Dad. Or DH is too oblivious to expand the conversation without seeming confrontational and then forgets about it. This is how we found out about SD14 going out of state without DH knowing. We found out about the BM SD15 passing out at school drunk and getting expelled. We find everything out this way. She is so busy keeping information from us, that all of this will bite her in the ass, if she doesn't accept our counter offer for modification.
I almost want her to make it go to the judge, so we can see her face when the lawyers give the judge all the Facebook pictures, the make-up the goth look and now the boyfriend in the house when no one is home. Not to mention the other infarctions we keep hearing about. These things would just be a normal grounding for a teenager and no big deal. But, they are adding up and this child is changing. Rapidly.
Child need rules and boundaries and BM wants to be her friend and keep the lines of communication open. Right now the SD14 is at a country club type of camp that was over 1700.00 It is supposed to help her be a better student. She went last year and she admitted to us it was all one big party and she got to live in a dorm. Not exactly great for her.
- Jsmom's blog
- Log in or register to post comments
Comments
You SD14 and BM sound like
You SD14 and BM sound like they need a good swift kick up the butt. Hopefully the judge will see that.
All the best with the counter offer.
Not to be downer but unless
Not to be downer but unless there are things bm is doing that are againstthe law or against the current parenting plan/decree, then I don't see how these things are going to 'help' in court. Are you trying to get custody? If not, then why are you trying to prove she is a mom making bad choices? The court is there to determine the 'best interest of the child' and help determine a parenting plan/decree/visitation schedule...not to make parenting choices for you. I really don't see how bm letting boys stay over with sd unsupervised is going to 'help' you. Trust me- I agree bm is making horrible decisions and they are affecting sd in a major way. I wouldn't let my dd get away with those things. But I don't think it will make a difference in court unless like I said it is going against the current decree.
We are giving up custody of
We are giving up custody of her, but preparing for a fight if she pushes the CS issue. We also have 50/50 custody of my SS12 and we are preparing for the day he says he no longer wants to live with her. He hates the drama at his mom's with his sister and her SD15. The lawyer keeps saying to get everything we can to prove her inadequicies as a parent. This is a woman who works 60+ hours a week and leaves the kids alone all the time. There is no supervision at all. All of this adds up.
the make-up the goth look and
the make-up the goth look and now the boyfriend in the house when no one is home. Not to mention the other infarctions we keep hearing about
I don't see how this is even worthy of mention. Surely it isn't grounds for getting custody.
make up? So? Plenty of 14 year olds wear make up. I did.
goth look? So? Studies show that kids who go through a goth phase grow up to get better jobs and are promoted to higher levels with more income than kids who don't go through such a phase - something about learning to think for themselves, not conforming, etc - although I realize that goth is back 'in' now so maybe being 'goth' is conforming these days. Point is, would you be upset if she was going for a 'barbie look' or a 'cheerleader look'? She's old enough to decide what 'look' she wants for herself (unless it was slut look).
Having boys in the house? So? Depends on what they are doing as far as I can see. I don't see anything wrong with just having boys over. Would you be ok with it if she had girls over?
There are other instances.
There are other instances. One is breaking a law around here, but I can't go into it, because we live in a community that is well known and it would give it away. We live in a very conservative southern town and the goth look is an issue. It will stigmatize her. The worse it gets the harder it will be. Good thing for us, is the judge is a conservative republican who believes kids need rules. If it goes to court, we will bring up everything that BM has done.
The rules that she doesn't have are fine. But, the boys in the house is inappropriate with no supervision. Girls are fine, but this girl is boy crazy and she will end up pregnant.
As for the Goth look over the cheerleader look, I will take that over the short shorts she used to wear. Now she is wearing black and tons of make-up. It is a slutty goth thing starting.
I am sure at 14 you wear not wearing enough make-up to be on stage.
Trust me this is just the start of problems. We are watching the decline.
I live in the south. We are
I live in the south. We are conservative here too. I agree with the Bo boys over thing totally. Texas has one of the highest teen pregnancy rates in the US. I totally get that aspect and agree with you. But it is a parenting decision. Not a decision of the court. The 'goth' look...I don't see how that will matter in court. Might be frowned upon but what else? Whatever law she broke, then yes the court will look into that but I think everything else will make you guys look like you're being petty and just pointing fingers/name calling. Unless your goal is to put sd away in a boarding or military school then I don't see how a teen's rebellion will help you in court. But keep us posted! I want to know how it turns out!
We have no parenting plan. DH
We have no parenting plan. DH never heard of this until I mentioned it to him from here. So now he is drafting a parenting plan to add that to the counter proposal. If anyone has used one, has it helped keep the BM in line?