Settlement offer
Well we received the offer of settlement on the CO modification from the BM from hell. She wants $586 a month CS. Us to cover the health insurance. She wants DH to lift the restriction on exposure to her SD18. We keep 50/50 of SS12 and she has full custody of SD14. Unbelievable. Our lawyer says she is only entitled to $96.00 not $586. Her lawyer seems to have pulled this number out of thin air.
Our proposal is being drafted by the lawyers now. DH wants to offer no CS and no health insurance and the restriction remains. Our goal is to go to court. I am sure our lawyer wants to offer the 96.00 which we will agree to. But, this woman started this mess and should not be rewarded. He is willing to bend on the Insurance. But, not on the SD. It will be interesting to see how this goes. Also, he wants her to pay the 7K in lawyers fees. Won't happen I am sure. But, worth the trying.
I can't wait until SS is out of HS and I can tell this woman off. I found out today from SS12 that BM is allowing SD14 to have boys in the house when she is not there. DH is going to flip on that one. All of this stuff is why SD14 wanted out of here. She is allowed to be on Facebook all day, where tons of makeup and basically come and go as she pleases.
SS11 is a character, but an overall good kid who is not a problem. Why does SD14 have to be such a pain in the ass? Why do these BM's have all the rights. If I thought for a minute we could get full custody, I would be willing to spend the rest of the savings. But, they don't do it here in the south.
I just want to scream, who the hell do you think you are? She is his daughter too and he has a right to want to raise her! He has the right parenting skills. You are too busy trying to be her friend, that you are pushing her to grow up too fast. Do we ever get to tell these women off on they are affecting all of our lives and screwing up the children in the process? Vent over.
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$96 a month. That's cool!
$96 a month. That's cool! We offered our non-visiting BM $400 vs. $800 she's getting. She said, "I can't accept a penny less than $800." So they are going to court next wk. I hope we can reimbursed for 1/2 the cost of 2 sets of braces for starters. She's not bought or paid for anything for them ever, even the co-pay for the E.R. visits she made when a twin got hurt while w/her. Get the CS reduced out-of-court was a dream DH had that now is a real nightmare for me. Swins blame me for cutting off Mom, she even suggested I pay her CS since DH isn't working. LOL. So after I take care of swins 24/7/365, I am to pay her CS? And she also ask for grocery money, gas money, dinner money, car repair money, electric bill money, mortgage payments, -- all handed over, no strings attached. Her full time job is mooching.
Yep - She makes 25% more than
Yep - She makes 25% more than DH. That is how it gets down to the $96. She is an idiot if she thinks he owes more. Now, hopefully the lawyer lets us offer nothing, so we can go to court with all the pictures and facebook downloads of SD14. She feels in the letter that even though we have SS12 60% of the time, she is justified. This is crazy and I just want it over, but they way they drag this out is amazing. Although since her lawyer keeps dragging it out, they will probably have to pay our legal fees according to our lawyer. Judges penalize you for that. We have been asking for this for 3 months now.
DH is frustrated because he paid for her schooling and supported her and she ends up making more now. He was fair in the divorce and their was no child support the last five years. She walked out of the marriage. She is a piece of work. Amazes me how you can start something like this and still get rewarded for it.
I absolutely understand your
I absolutely understand your wish to get to court and get this whole thing settled one way or another.
In our case it worked out pretty well and we have maintained firm control over BioDad and the SpermClan through the Court Order governing our son's (my SS) Custody/Visitation/Support.
Unfortunately when dealing with the bottom 10%ers that seem to make up the majority of family law officials court is one of those be careful of what you wish for things.
You never know what orifice of their body a family law judge is going to pull their decision from.
That is a serious term? PFA
That is a serious term? PFA - I am going to have to start using that. I do Mergers and Acquisitions and business owners tell me all the time that their company is worth such and such. Now I am going to use that term for their self valuating.
I think my frustration with everything with the BM is the fact that we are paying all this money and we still don't have the child living with us. She keeps getting rewarded for not backing up DH. In the meantime, we are watching a decline of a relatively normal kid. She is now wearing a ton of make-up and black nails and who knows what else since we he gave up. If it weren't for Facebook and SS12 we would have no idea what is happening over there. So frustrating.
We dealt with the whole
We dealt with the whole rediculous "offer" thing from BioDad and the SpermClan when we were going through our initial Custody/Visitation/Support battle.
BioDad paid nothing in CS and never saw the kid after my Wife moved out of state to go to college until he heard the rumor that she was dating someone at school. When he heard that she was dating (me) he whinned to SpermGrandMa that he missed his "wife" and child. My wife and the SpermIdiot were never married.
SpermGrandMa filed a custody suit in BioDad's name without his knowledge. This was the begining of an effort by the united SpermClan to financially intimidate my wife in to giving up her son. She called their bluff, took out supplemental student loans, engaged an attorney and counter sued for a ton of money and zero visitation.
As events progressed the SpermClan would make a rediculouse offer the day before a court date which my wife would refuse or counter with ZERO VISITATION and $5000/mo is CS or something equally rediculous.
Their offers progressed from full custody for BioDad, to Joint physical and legal, to 50/50 to 26wks of visitation (they obviously thought my wife was as stupid as they are), to 15 weeks. The night before we actually got to court (they would file for a postponement the day before court after my wife had flown half way accross the country to be present in court)they proposed 15wks of visitation, my wife counteredwith 9wks. They refused. The next day the judge gave them 7wks. As we were all walking out of the court room their attorney stopped my wife and told her that his client was accepting the 9wks she had offered the day before. My wife laughed in the attorney's face, told him that his clients were idiots and that they had all heard the judge ..... 7wks and don't ever ask for more.
I would recommend countering with her receiving ZERO CS, her paying you CS for both children, her paying you the full amount of health insurance costs for both children, expanding the restricted list from just her SD to all of her friends, family and acquaintences, and a stipulation that she has to submit to you in a writing a detailed agenda for every minute the kids are with her of where they will be, who they will be with and what they will be doing.
Anyone stupid enough to think that you and your DH will accept her initial rediculous offer may be stupid enough to actually agree to a rediculous counter offer.
Good luck and best regards.