I need help! I am a mother of a 16 yr old girl who is gay and I married a man with 3 kids, two girls 19 & 16 and a son,13. At first they came every other weekend. Then thier mother decided to give them up. (apperently she is single and loving it, but thats another story)She rarely sees them, doesn't paychild support and child support enforcement is dragging their feet catching up to her. Anyway, the 19 year old moved out to live with her boyfriend. Husband blames me. His children have lived with us for a year now and just recently the 16 yr old girl has a hissy fit EVERY day for one reason or another. She has a different boy over or wants them to come over every week, then gets mad when we tell her no and throws a fit, threatens to leave and of course that would be my fault too. I'm sure she is trying to get attention but she goes about it all wrong. There is alot of stress in the house because of this. In the past few months I have pushed the responsibility of handling it to my husband because it is his child. He has never been made to be a father, his ex took on all that responsibility and he just aUtomatically let me have it when they moved in. After much stress I gave it back. I try to give him guidance in this process but he always turns it back on me. He haS this idea in his head that everything should ALWAYS be fair. In a perfect world maybe. For example, just yesterday SD16 got the whole house in an uproar because she asked the SS13 to make her a hot dog for lunch, he did but she wanted two. Yelling & slamming doors ensued. Another ex., SS13 was telling a joke and SD16 had a screaming match with him because she thought he was telling it wrong again yelling and door slamming. I believe she is a control freak and cant handle anything if it doesn't go her way. Husband and I had a discussion yesterday that he needed to have a long talk with her about her outbursts for no reason. Stupid shit is not worth getting the whole house stressed over. What does he say to me, what about your child. What about her? I told him this conversation right now is about your child not mine. When mine does something then we will talk about her. Right now this is about SD. Ended in a big fight. Last night I happened to go into the SS's room and there were soda bottles, candy and snack wrappers everywhere. They were specifically asked not to eat in theire rooms. I found a lighter and one of my kitchen knives fixed up to look like some thugs knife. I confronted the SS and reiterated that there is to be no eating in the bedrooms. He said nothing. My husband was in bed. I bagged all the stuff I found an left it on his dresser (need proof or he doenst beleive me). When he asked me what it was I told him where I found it and I would like him to have a talk with his son. He said " Are we gonna search your daughters room now?" Again what does this have to do with my daughter. We have searched her room before and I never asked him are we gonna do your childrens rooms now? I have told him each situation is different and has to be handled differently. Not differnet rules for each kid but every situation has to be handled differently. He does not understand this. Thinks I am attacking his children. He has this mentality or should I say denial about his children, they are perfect and do no wrong. I am one of these parents that knows what my child is cappable of and will admit it he wont. Even when he knows that they are children and do child like things that need disapline, that they do no wrong and my child is a bad kid. His are the same as mine and I treat then exactly the same. He tell me mine takes out her bad moods on every one and his daughter doesn't. Bull shit! She is the cause of all the stress in the house with her daily hissy fits. We have this rule or I have this rule and my husband agrees that the rules should be the same for everyone, of course thats only fair, that my daughter doesn't go to anyones house that I havent met and does not go out to drive around in cars. Anyone who she is having drive has to have their licence for at least three years or you dont go. SD doesnt understand this rule and doesnt want to, hissy fits all the time about it. Talked to my husband, I feel she is permiscuous and we need to keep a tighter reign on her or she will end up in trouble. I am trying to save her from herself. He says what about your daughter? Rules have to be the same! Well mine is gay we dont have to worry about that, He says she can get pregnant I said when and if she dates boys then we will worry about that then. Again with the fairness. EVERY SITUATION IS DIFFERENT AND HAS TO BE HANDLED DIFFERENTLY!I am at my wits end. I love my husband but I am tired of his comparison everytime his children need disapline. I am tired of having stress everyday. I am getting to the point where I want out. Please give me some advice oh how to handle this situation differently